To preface, my girlfriend is aware and supports this post.
My (M28) Girlfriend (F26) and I were getting frisky and she wanted to go down on me. For reasons I won’t go into, her libido has been suppressed for a while and has just come back.
Normally she isn’t keen on giving blowjobs, so is new to it, but this time she really wanted to and she was very much enjoying doing so. I had no complaints either. Suddenly a gurgle and burp and she vomits a small amount on my penis and groin.
Bless her she was devastated and started panicking, worrying that I wouldn’t find her sexy anymore. I could never not find her sexy. I helped her clean up as I cleaned myself up and reassured her ending in cuddles.
So the question we have (or she has but doesn’t want to post under her profile) does anyone have any helpful hint and tips so she doesn’t vomit again?
EDIT: I am very clean. I shower daily and I would not let her go down there if it felt even slightly unclean.
26 comments
Don’t eat or drink for a couple hours prior. Try to figure out the best angle to avoid your penis hitting her gag reflexes. Try to breathe through your nose whenever you can.
This happens to the best of us!! You sound like a good boyfriend OP.
I too have done this more than once unfortunately, she needs to pace herself and be able to recognize when she’s doing too much . As soon as she feels like she’s about to seriously gag she should stop .
Sometimes it also helps to not go so deep. Take a break from sucking and lick instead and make sure to remember to breathe.
First let me just point out that it’s a pretty normal accident to happen, people don’t really talk about it but it’s definitely common especially for people just getting familiar with oral. My advice would be to practice on popsicles and lollipops in private so you can touch them to different parts of your throat and adjust how hard you push the Popsicle against it so you can find the combinations of placement and pressure to avoid in the future. Sex is a skill so it wouldn’t hurt to watch some “how to” videos if that’s something y’all are comfortable with. Plenty of genuinely good sex tutorials are out there, gay men seem to make the most informative ones in my experience (not joking at all)
I, too, am a fellow vomiter.
I try not to eat or drink for at least 2 hours before I do it properly. If my gag reflex is sensitive I direct my bfs dongle sideways into my cheek and then along the side of my mouth.
You could also try desensitising it by using your finger to gently get used to the sensation.
I give head almost daily so it’s less sensitive than it used to be, but I do still gip occasionally. Significantly less vomiting now though aha 💀
It takes time and patience to be able to take a whole penis in. If she cannot, try licking your good spots more. Include hands too for assistance. If she wants to try deeper, take deep breaths and be relaxed. Do it one millimeter at a time if need be.
Additionally, brushing teeth can help her try to get used to feeling gag reflex so she can be more desensitized to it. It won’t help her get rid of it, but it has helped me not panic when the gag reflex appears.
you can try having the dick go into the cheek or roof of the mouth instead of towards the throat, for me it helps to keep the back of my tongue up a little so the digg don’t go into gag reflex zone
Iv e heard you can train your gag reflex away. But I’ve never been able to. Which I’ve also heard is the case for some people.
It doesn’t bother me or stop me. I just have fun. And if I need to pull back for breath or to settle my stomach, I do. I also….gag. A lot. It’s never bothered a guy. Unfortunately one guy was pushing my head down and he didn’t let me up and I threw up. Well I never met with him again….I do communicate that I’m ok with a guy holding my head but he has to let me up if I pull back….it’s all about trust and consent.
To girlfriend: I’ve vomited on a few guys before (deepthroating, they were being a bit too rough) and we just have a laugh, clean up, move on, and repeat, except a little less rough. It’s fine. Maybe it’s gross, maybe it’s not, but it’s a possibility when it comes to blowjobs.
She should try not to deep throat. Instead, she should get in a comfy position and lick the shaft up and down and get it wet and use both hands, then suck as much of the shaft as she comfortably can. I even use a twisting motion of my wrists going in opposite directions while moving up and down. This is easier and better with a lot of spit or lube. I simultaneously lick and bob and suck. Guys love the addition of the hands and I don’t die trying to impress them. I wouldn’t want to be with a guy who wants me to be super uncomfortable anyway. Have fun!
Avoid deep throating. Make sure YOU are clean and groomed. Nobody wants a yeasty hairy dick in their mouth. Don’t shove her down on it. Let her do it herself. She can try techniques like sucking and licking just the head while working the shaft with her hands.
The most helpful tip I got was to start brushing the back of your tongue when brushing your teeth. It helps get used to and control the gag reflex and also let’s you figure out how far you can go. It’s also mint flavor!
as someone with a terrible gag reflex as well, i understand the pain. when i give my boyfriend head, i mostly focus on using my tongue rather than my throat and focusing on the tip and balls. he seems to enjoy it. just my two cents 🙂
It happens. One woman I was with would use Vicks throat spray to numb herself before, during. It kind of desensitized me as well so prolonged what came after the foreplay. I have a curve upward too, so another woman wouldn’t go deep unless she was sitting on my face. I’d just say practice and see what works for you both. Good luck!
Things that help me:
– letting the spit that usually gets produced more during giving a BJ just freely flow out of my mouth instead of trying to swallow it
– knowingly holding my breath whenever it gets deeper (people can dive through a pool, so holding ones breath for 10 seconds is absolutely doable and counting down from ten distracts from the feeling of having to vomit)
– I noticed that the more aroused I am the less likely I am to gag
– I also noticed that closing my eyes can help as it takes away the view of “this much is yet to come”/ “it’s already this deep” which somehow makes it more manageable for me
– I take breaks in-between with just licking or even using the hands
– just taking it in the mouth as deep as it feels comfortable without any extra movement and to try out if I either still can breath through my nose or how long I can hold my breath helped me get more used to the feeling
That costs extra in Vegas –
Girl, take a break and use your hands after a few gags. One gag too many and it’s over lol, but usually if you take a quick breather you can recoup.
Mr, also feel free to help with your own hands and give her a show when she’s down there.
Keep her hand on the base to limit your depth at first. Breath out, flattening the tongue if she’s going to try to throat, otherwise breath out and raise the back of her tongue to block you going deeper. The timing being breathing in as you’re sliding out and out as you’re sliding in. I can never deep throat without gagging if I’ve sucked in air. Overall, she just needs practice. Take it slower. Tell her what feels good so she knows what to focus on and won’t get overwhelmed on the details. Good luck!
Yes, honey! She has to learn to breathe through her nose while giving a head, or she’ll gag. That’s it, that’s the secret to great head: breathe through your nose while you’re doing it.
Edit to add: This very sweet, old lady at my job gave me this tip in my 20s as I told her how embarrassed I was that I threw up rice and peas with beef, still not digested, all over a dick. It’s happened to all of us, and sometimes I still get a little something come up; I swallow that shit too. You are a lucky guy, which I’m sure you know.
As good as it feels for a girl to go deep. It feels just as good not going to deep. Your dick has the most nerves in the tip so just let her stick with that. My girlfriend doesn’t go that deep cos she has a gag reflex and not a big mouth lol but it feels just as good with what she can fit
ok so pro tip is to not focus on the act itself. when I start focusing on “oh my god I am willingly choking myself” I start to freak out. but if I focus on what my partner is doing, how they sound, etc. it’s way easier!!
Na man honestly it happens, humans aren’t built for putting objects down our throats like that. Just let it go and don’t make a big deal of it
A lot of these comments aren’t totally helpful. Let me in here.
1. Extend your chin forward and tip your head back – look at how a sword-swallower does it. You have to pitch the chin forward as far as you can and angle it upwards so that the D is aimed towards the middle of your neck (where an Adam’s apple would be if you were male).
2. Place your tongue very far forward so that the tip of it is touching the back of your lower lip. You should feel your lower teeth touching the underside of your tongue.
3. Clench your upper diaphragm.
4. Clench another major muscle group. Some people squeeze their ass muscles hella tight, some people make a fist. Clenching a major muscle group for some reason makes your gag reflex less responsive.
5. Throat numbing spray like Cepacol can be helpful when learning, as it will also suppress gag reflex while you learn the angles.
ETA: never forget that a hand helps; I have good success with gripping it while keeping my hand “attached” to my mouth. A lot of the fun of deepthroating is just the taboo or excitement, but if you rotate your hand as you bob up and down it feels just as “deep” while giving you a few extra inches of leeway and letting your throat cool off a second.
Experiment with keeping the hand attached to your mouth vs meeting your hand in the middle and then letting your hand go down while you come back up, then meeting in the middle again.
PS – I have also thrown up on my ex’s D. A day that I ate saag paneer, an Indian pureed spinach dish no less. It happens. All it means is that you were dedicated. Nobody can fault you for that and I’ll tell you from experience that it doesn’t mean you ain’t sexy anymore.
Aww, I’m sure she feels embarrassed, but she really shouldn’t. Sex is always portrayed as steamy and sensual and magic. It can be that, but sex can also be funny and not that serious. First, try not to take this too seriously and laugh it off. Secondly, avoid eating right before and relax the throat as much as possible while breathing through your nose. Going slow also can help. Thirdly, practice makes perfect.
Source; the guy I threw up on still proposed, and we’ve been married 15 years
She’s probably doing it how they do in porn because she’s new to it. She has the best of intentions in wanting to please you but I would say, a sensual and slow blowjob can be just as amazing than an intense, deep throat, fast paced one. More licking and focusing the mouth on the tip, and the hands on the shaft following the mouth when it comes to faster movement to Mimic deeper penetration, and overall just lots of positive energy around the act and no head pushing of course. Also if she’s reading, I am a girl too and I know what it’s like to feel lots of uncertainty with this sort of thing, but there’s nothing communication and understanding can’t overcome! And it seems like your bf is supportive and cares about you which is a good start.
Make sure she can breathe comfortably when she’s going down on you. If it’s a gag reflex issue then a throat numbing spray can help. (I’ve used them on occasion, but it can potentially also numb the receiver so it can be hit and miss.) Overall just going slow and building up tolerance is the biggest thing. I have a sensitive gag reflex when it comes to any hair so I ask my boyfriend to trim a little to help prevent hair from getting into my mouth.