Hello redditors!
My (26F) coworker (50M) is trying to convert me to his religion. I’ve been at my new job for around 3 months and love it it here! Besides this one thing… my coworker. He keeps bringing me in magazines and brochures on his religion and keeps inviting me to zoom introduction meetings and it’s making me really uncomfortable. I don’t think religion should be brought into the work place whatsoever and I’m not sure how to go about turning him down. I’m very non confrontational and the thought of having to say no gives me so much anxiety. How do I say I’m not interested politely? Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance!
47 comments
What’s his religion
Get HR involved…..Now!!!
Escalate this to manager or HR to address it with him directly.
“No thanks.”
Not okay. He chose you because you are non confrontational. Say this. Actually send an email. I should have said something sooner but I have my own beliefs and I prefer to keep that to myself. I appreciate that you have been coming with good intentions but I need to ask you to not send me brochures or invite me to meetings. Thank you. If he doesn’t, report him to HR because this is not appropriate.
You’re too nice. I’d tell him NO once with a follow up that you were letting HR know.
AND I’m kinda petty so I’d order a Satanic Bible for him and give it to him the next time he bothered me. lol
Tell him no. If he doesn’t take no for an answer tell him he had to go to your church first and take him to a sex dungeon
When he tries to hand you a magazine or brochure, you politely say “no thank you” and then immediately walk away. Don’t get stuck in a conversation with him about it.
Ask him what prayer he’ll recite when your foot goes up his ass.
Next time hand back the items and explain that it makes you uncomfortable when he bring in items about his personal life that was not asked you. If he says I was just trying to be nice or expand your knowledge just say thank you but I would rather you didn’t.
Also, explain things to the boss and/or HR. Tell them you don’t want to file a complaint but want them to be aware. This will help when you decline the information. If he continues after you talk with him then file a complaint.
I think… he might be atttacted to you and is seeing you through the lens of if you enter into this territory he would be in a mentor role?
You need to push back gently but firmly
“I really appreciate that you see me as someone who would be interested in this, but I’m not looking for ‘answers’ at the moment. I just want to come to work, and mind my own business.”
If you don’t get a withdrawal response-
“Could you not give me a little space?”
If you’re really pushed say
“You know, you’re kind of making me uncomfortable”
If he doesn’t get the message go to your boss- be as nice as you can
Religious zeal is a very specific intoxicant
It renders the imbiber blind, reckless and self-righteous
Genuinely spiritual people have mastered humility
Which means it’s not their place to change anyone
Go away, you are making me uncomfortable. If you bring this to me ever again I’m registering a formal complaint with HR.. and then cc HR on that email to to zealous douchenozzle
Have you talked to HR? If not, March right up to that office and tell them exact what you just wrote e. Do it NOW
>I’m very non confrontational and the thought of having to say no gives me so much anxiety.
Learning to say no is a valuable life skill and this is an excellent time to practice it.
>How do I say I’m not interested politely?
“I’m not interested in your religion, so stop talking to me about it.”
Be honest “I like working for this company. I enjoy coming to work. I don’t want to have any issues with anyone. But I have to be honest lately I have been feeling harassed and targeted/ persecuted. (Coworkers name) has been extremely unprofessional and disrespectful. I have already let them know I am not interested in joining their religion. Yet they keep ignoring my request. I respect your beliefs even if they aren’t mine I don’t understand why you can’t do the same. If this happens again I will be asking (name) to not don’t talk to me at all again unless it’s about work”. And I would email it to the person and cc your boss and blind cc yourself in case you get fired over this you will have a paper trail for unemployment
Contact HR.
Ask a trusted co worker to have a word? If not then your manager.
Tell him that you are not interested in his religion and his attempts to convert you as you are trying to work have maked you feel very uncomfortable around him.
The facts that you are have a non-confrontational personality, are much younger than him and a relatively new staff member may well be a significant part of why the religious zealot is targeting you for his proselytizing.
What he is doing to you in your workplace is appalling. It borders on harassment. Get legal advice from a few local legal firms and request an experienced lawyer who specialises in employment law.
Let him know politely, you say hey i appreciate your effort because for you to make efforts seems like it’s important to you but im not the religious type and i dont intend to be, do you mind BACKING THE FUCK UP?!
I would just tell him you’re not interested in what he is offering. I wouldn’t go straight to HR unless he doesn’t stop. It’s not like he’s inviting you to something illegal. It’s just church stuff.
“I am not interested. Please do not contact me about anything other than work from now on. Thanks.”
Time to grow a spine and tell him you have no interest in his religion and if he doesn’t stop, you will file harassment charges.
Tell your manager, you are in a hostile workplace, and it is their job to stop him from harassing other employees.
Pls tell me it’s not geova witness, I had to endure the same shit for a while, thx God she changed job after a while.
Just tell him you dont believe in fairy tales.
I’m one that doesn’t like religion shoved in my face and it happens often. Tell him, “ You may have good intentions but I have my own personal beliefs and I’d like you to respect that as I respect you have yours. Thank you.”
Considering the manager’s response, you should consider posting this in the legal advice sub.
Learn to say “not interested” followed by “back off and learn to stay in your lane!” And finally “good day sir” “i said GOOD DAY SIR!”.
I think before we get too far off the deep end here, do you think your lack of being confrontational, and trying to be nice may have mislead him into thinking you were interested?
We don’t really know if he’s doing anything wrong until you tell him you aren’t interested and he persists. No need to be timid about it, just tell him you appreciate his willingness to introduce you to his beliefs but you aren’t interested. If it goes further then that, then I would look into management involvement.
Some people here are basically telling you to get him fired and he hasn’t technically done anything yet. Lol
Religion, sexual orientation, and politics are what I avoid at work. It’s just too much to deal with because people get really into that stuff. And I’m a demipansexual and don’t like talking about certain LGBTQ topics at work because of how extreme either way it goes.
But your manager is no help. Tell him to pound sand.
“Im not really interested in religion at this time, thanks”
Tell him to stop preaching and that you’re not interested. If he keeps doing it, go to HR. This is not something you should have to endure at the workplace.
You should tell him that you’re glad that he follows a religion that he’s found rewarding, and, while you appreciate his friendliness, you’re not really interested in his religion at this point, but if you become interested, you will let him know.
In this way, you’re disrespecting neither him nor his religion.
‘Nuff said.
You can speak to him directly. Be firm but polite. Let him know that you are not interested in learning more about his religion and ask him to stop giving you information.
“I appreciate your devotion to your faith, I am not interested in learning more. Please stop providing me with information. “
You should not need to tell him this more than once.
If it continues go to HR. If you don’t have HR then go to your superior.
You shouldn’t have have to be exposed to this and you shouldn’t have to worry about being punished for asking for this to stop.
Keep everything he gives you ask back up, incase its necessary.
He is out of line.
“look, I know you have your own set of beliefs and that’s fine for you but I don’t share them and I’d greatly appreciate it if you would respect that and stop trying to convert me. Otherwise I’m going to report this to management because I am feeling uncomfortable.”
If it was me I feel the right thing to do is politely tell him that you appreciate the literature but you think it’s best to keep religion out of the workplace and that you don’t want to talk about it anymore. If it continued then I would tell my boss, he might think you like the brochures so tell him to stop.
He is trying to groom his next wife. Also tell your co worker you are in no way interested. Be honest and direct. Then tell boss if he doesnt’ stop. I actually would tell boss anyway. He may get mad and act out around you. I am sorry someone is making an issue like this at work….
I am an ex-JW so I’m pretty familiar with preaching.
You don’t have to be afraid to say no and ask him to stop. A simple “No thanks <name>, and I don’t want you to discuss religion with me again please.”
In a polite tone this will work fine on 99.9% of preachers
As far as professional development goes, you need to be able to challenge your discomfort and move forward. You’re not a 19 year old scared of voice calls, you’re a professional who is perfectly capable of asking your colleagues to modify their behaviour towards you.
That’s harassment and I’d straight up say very firmly “I don’t care about your religion and please stop talking to me about it. Enough”
Let me guess Jehovahs Witnesses? I used to be one although I never did this. It always felt weird and like the wrong time and place but they are encouraged by their leadership to do this. I’m pretty sure this goes against the HR policy at your job. Don’t feel bad about turning him down because religion and beliefs are incredibly personal and for someone to try to push theirs on you is really rude and weird behavior. Unfortunately some of them don’t understand that. You can even tell him and
hey man I really enjoy working here and working with you but it’s making me uncomfortable when your being up religion, invite me to your meetings and bring magazines. My beliefs are personal and I would prefer not discuss them at work and I also don’t want someone pushing their beliefs on me as I don’t intend to change my beliefs and although I respect your beliefs I don’t have interest in learning more about your religion. I hope we can continue to have a good working relationship outside that.
A lot of the time they will say they aren’t trying to change your beliefs or push them on you they want to just share the Bible’s message or topics or Nobel discussion with you. Stand your ground!
If they say they aren’t trying to change your beliefs but just want to share discussing the Bible just say you don’t want to as you keep that private and or feel work isn’t the time or place for it and you don’t have interest in discussing that topic further
If this doesn’t stop them then let them know you will go to HR if they continue and then they will stop for sure
Or you can skip the discussion and just go to HR directly about the situation
Ask him one time to please keep his religion to himself. If he continues to pressure you after, report him to HR.
This is a perfect chance to work on that confrontational anxiety. Literally, I have this issue. Best advice, next time he comes for you, say look, I’m not trying to be mean, but I’m not interested, and you’re making me uncomfortable. Please stop talking to me about religion. Okay. ” tou don’t have to be super nice or rude. Be direct amd say it like tou mean ot. Then literally walk away, get up if sitting g down, but leave the situation. Even if they do, still walk away. Then drink a sip of water and breath.
Now.. good job. Don’t let this person’s feeling about it affect tou either. You have every right to be comfortable where you work. If tou want to make sure to leave a no e taste after the incident, you can do something small to let them know there are no hard feeling but not required. Good luck,!!
Didn’t even have to read. He’s trying to convert you and make himself your sponsor (or whatever religions call it), and then your husband. Plus, heaven points or something? Dates, times, quotes, emails(!) To HR etc. He may think you’re young enough that you might be ‘too nice’ about it. The first pamphlet a mf gives me I’m going to grill his ass about who he thinks he is, what made him think I’d be any type of receptive, and all the reasons it’s appropriate in the workplace. When he tries to say nevermind/I was just trying to help/just kidding I’d and go beyond calling him out to humiliating him and telling him his god is bullshit. I’m agnostic and have respect for others’ spirituality, but when someone pushes their values and beliefs on others I’ll go full atheist and tear them apart. Can you tell I’ve been in these situations? It doesn’t have to be religion, it can be any dumb shit. If you want the conversation to end without involving the job, see above. Either way, document.
Tell him that you don’t want him to talk religion with you and to stop the invitations.
I have sometimes found it easier to write out what I want to say to the person (if I’m afraid of possible conflict), sleep on it, edit it, and then finally give it in paper form, either handwritten or printed. I guess giving it as text or email would be fine too. Anyway, this would let you work on how to say “I am not comfortable with you talking about your religion to me and I want you to stop. I do not want to hear about it any more.”
Talk to HR about his behavior. He is way out of line.
Part of working is being able to maintain a professional conversation and address conflict resolution in a professional matter.
Great practice.
As others have said.
Just go thanks, but no thanks. I’d appreciate it if you respected me saying no and not pushing religion on me the same as I’m sure you wouldn’t appreciate having done to you. I’m not interested and I know where to find you if that changes. Let’s keep to work related conversations moving forward, thank you.
[This is the way](https://youtu.be/-Q4K8D6-KmM?si=l0_hVdC-KAr6Fr3-)