I grew up very shy and someone who didn’t really talk much about my day, how I’m feeling, etc. even to my own family. I was just a quiet kid and I was content with that.
I’m 24 y/o now with my first job and it’s so hard for me to make small talk or try to keep a conversation going without mentally exhausting myself. I am a GREAT listener and I love hearing about people’s days and stories especially in group settings, but I just feel like I could never contribute back. It’s also hard for me to start conversations, especially in one to one conversations. It usually goes like:
“Good morning! How are you doing?”
“Good! You?”
“Good :)”
Awkward silence. Literally I have nothing else to say and/or ask.
I love doing nothing over the weekend, I’m reserved and quiet, I’m not witty and quick at coming up with responses… I’m pretty damn boring. I can’t easily start a conversation, let alone sustain it. Having said all that, I don’t want people to think I’m a snob. How do I better approach people and make good conversation?
2 comments
ask them about themselves and work from there.
them : “hello jay good morning”
me: “hey how’s it going?”
them : “nothing much”
me: “got any plans for the evening?”
them” probably going to take out my dogs for a walk after work”
!!!!!boom good time to ask questions or say statements!!!
(examples below)
what kind of dogs?
how many dogs?
where were you thinking of going?
how long have you had them?
what’s their names?
I also have dogs they are _____
have you considered taking your dogs to _____ I heard its really nice
Any plans after getting home
any plans for the weekend?
you should get yourself a _____ after a long walk I can suggest a nice place
just think of questions, people love talking about themselves soo much
this is coming from a shut in who never went out for 7 years until recently and have started talking to a lot of co workers on a daily basis
Long time barista here, and yeah that‘s really it. Just write yourself a script of good questions you can ask anybody. “Are you doing anything fun today?” (People love talking about fun stuff) but still most of the time people say “no, just work” I‘ll usually say “me too” and that gets a good chuckle most times. But also that’s a good time to ask about what they do for work. Do they like it? How long have they done that?
Also if you did nothing over the weekend, say that like it’s a brag. “I did a whole lot of nothing” “AB-SO-LUTELY nothing!“ Most people are exhausted all the time and wish they had more time doing nothing. In fact when I ask people what they’re doing that day and they say nothing my typical response is congratulations. They love that too, not a lot of people throw congratulations around often but it’s a good word.