Is it ethically and logically justified for his wife to insist that he find a different job or be home every night to take their kids to school and back, even though he fully supports their finances and she is a stay-at-home mother?

3 comments

1. I think it’s reasonable to talk to your spouse and ask them to consider changing jobs because the situation is not working. The spouse may say no, but then the first spouse may make a decision based on that.

2. I’m talking to your husband….

   You got a tough one buddy…. Assuming she fully understood what she was getting into….. assuming “knew” and didn’t see it … yeah.. i can see her point..but that don’t make it right..though. At least on your end….it isn’t about what she didn’t see.. you have to help her see what this life is….

   OTR trucking is a tough life to make a family… but you are correct… it provides well.. is there any way you can bring her along for shorter hauls? Maybe .. get her to think about team driving.. I know that’s tough with kids since it sounds like you have them.. and if you do, You got a tough road…

   All i can say is. .. smart phone’s and video calls, and …. sexting.. can be a good thing….

   She misses you,… she misses the bonding,.. she misses the time when you are there and the kids are jumping on you and not her and how everything is fun. when YOU are there….

   But that ain’t the way it is in OTR.. Tell her you love her every morning and every night,… and show her when you get home.. I lived it.. oil fields.. and couldn’t take it.. I/We settled down….

   Yeah…. I was where you are… a mans “job” is to take of his family…. But I also learned a mans job is to love his family, and be present for his family… you aren’t just a paycheck,…. You do have to do you part, you do have to ensure your kids get there’s first, together, as husband and wife, a team, as long as you have love, treat your kids and wife with respect,… you’ll have so much more than money can buy…. And work slowly, and steadily, incrementally each year……more success and yes more money….

   The brass ring don’t come on the first day…. Love is free and easy, but it comes with the highest price, pride, giving that up to your wife is tough!…. Money and success is simple … because all you have to do is sell your soul…….

   You decide…. What do you want? A loving dad and family that sticks together no matter what, thick and thin, and damn sure allot of thin..…. Or a loving dad who gives everyone what they want whenever they want it even if he isn’t there..

   No doubt,.. you are a loving dad and probably husband…. I can definitely see both sides of this….

   My dad worked his ass off for us…. I only really got to know him when he was 80+.. he just died at 92.. he was a good dad…. Made sure we all went to college.. got good jobs.. taught us well…. We all have great lives.. But I only “knew” him for a short while..

   I don’t know what your answer is… i just know what your answer(s) could be. I highly recommend you be the dad/husband you wanted your dad to be. I never caught a ball with my dad, he was too busy in the fields, and he never told me he loved me or proud of me, because that would make me too “soft”…. He was glad i married a miss America contestant,.. because “she was cute, and I knew you two would get together”?! Whatever.. i am convinced he liked her more than me..

   Yeah…. If you chose to marry her and she chose to marry you…. Fight for it and your family.. please.. it is so worth it.. be the husband and father you are supposed to be.

   Good luck.. choose well.

3. You can ask for whatever you want, but before you do you have to consider some things.

   1. Does your husband have any other skills than driving?

   2. Would him taking a another job be able to afford the same or better lifestyle then you have now. By that can you still be able to be a SAHM? Would you be ok if you had to get a job?

   3. How old are the kids, and what aspects are you struggling with? Would do you him to do every night at home that you can’t do on your own? Would it be possible to get help from family or friends near by with carpooling, occasional babysitting, etc? Do you get a break when he is home?