I’ve always been told and have read that habits lead to change. I’ve tried it with fitness, studies and other good habits.
I’ve got social anxiety. I feel very nervous around new people or people I’m not comfortable around. And it’s appearant through my body language and voice tone.
Once I’m comfortable with people then it’s ok. Or some people are there who feel safe idk how it works. If I’m with someone who around whom I feel confident then, if I’m with them meeting new people I don’t feel social anxiety.
Now the problem is that I don’t wanna be dependent upon other people for my confidence. I need to be confident on my own.
Please tell me what habits can I adopt to be more confident. I really need it. This has already done a lot of damage in school and university. I wanna be able to make friends and not feel scared while talking to new people.
2 comments
Comfortability is key IMO. When you feel comfortable around others, authenticity comes more easily and allows you to be more confident in the reasons why people like you and it becomes effortless. Depending on what social settings your trying to be more confident or comfortable in, my go to is being direct. Look for someone who looks comfortable in the setting or someone you think looks interesting. Literally tell them that you don’t know a lot of people there and introduce yourself. They might not be as confident as you think either and you could be saving them from the very anxieties you’re feeling. Just keep doing that until you find someone who will engage in conversation. I understand that it’s easier said than done and may come across as pedantic or condescending but making an effort to engage others is huge. Everybody wants to be liked and validated.
Don’t go to a self-check out. Say say hello, thank you and goodbye to the cashiers (don’t fret if they don’t say it back. There is no ill intention as they might be overworked/tired).
Do stuff in public places. You can go to a cafe, get a drink and just browse the web or go to a library. The point is getting comfortable doing your own thing while surrounded by people.