I (36F)dont know where to put this but I’ve been thinking about/missing a guy (39M) I dated last year.
We dated for about 2 months. It’s not like me to be thinking about someone considering the short amount of time we spent together and how long it’s been since the relationship ended.
He was very sweet and romantic. At the time I was going through a bunch of life changes and wasn’t super comfortable with my body and life circumstances. I have anxiety and started taking medication which had a number of side effects such as: increasing my digestive sensitivity (i.e IBS/food restrictions, gas,
diarrhoea etc.), sexual side effects (think ED for women – dry and not tight at all), my apartment was tiny and not sound proof at all so I never invited him over while he lived in a beautiful massive condo.
I felt so out of place dating him because of those things and couldn’t bring myself to tell him how I felt or what was going on with me. I he did try to inquire but I would freeze up and make up some excuse for my health issues or why I didn’t want him to come over which isn’t like me at all. I’m usually very upfront and honest. He liked me a lot and I liked him just as much too I just didn’t feel as though I was good enough for him. He broke up with me after 2 months.
He has a girlfriend now, which I’m not surprised about at all. I’ve dated other people since him and I’ve been dating someone I really like for the past couple of months, he’s not from here but will be moving here early next year, however I keep thinking about the first guy every now and then.
I know there is nothing I can do about the situation but it’s just odd that’s he’s still on my mind especially now and after all this time. I think I just regret the way things turned out but mostly my actions. If I was upfront and honest maybe things would be different.
Last night I had a dream that we talked and I told him how I felt. Not because I wanted to get back together, that would be impossible now, but just for peace of mind.
How do I move on? Do I reach out or to clear the air or just let it be?
TL;DR : I’m missing someone I dated last year for nearly 2 months. I think about him even though I’ve dated other people since then and am dating someone now. I think I regret my actions, and not being honest about my health and personal struggles. He has a girlfriend now. Last night I dreamt I told him how I felt. How do I move on? Do I reach out or to clear the air or just let it be?
1 comment
You’re doing okay. Grieving over something like this isn’t easy. Be kind to yourself.
You obviously understand that things changed and you can’t find closure from him. The only closure available is from you. That takes time.
Concentrate on your health – working on your anxiety, exercising, and so on. Keep yourself busy with stuff you like to do and spending time with friends.
The best way to turn the page is to take what you learned here and apply it to your next relationship. You held things back for fear of not being understood. Now you wish you’d said more so he’d understand. In your next situation, be honest when those moments come.
Good luck to you, this isn’t easy but you can move forward.