Living with the in laws

My wife (26)and I (29) recently moved into her parents’ house because we have a 6-week-old baby, and our apartment was too small.

Here’s the financial context:
The apartment was leased, and it was slightly pricey for a one-bedroom apartment, so we couldn’t afford to buy a car, which we would like to have soon because of the baby. The apartment was very close to work, and transport costs were close to nothing. We had a shuttle service that would come by the estate directly to work every 15-20 minutes throughout the day.

For anonymity’s sake, I will share our monthly financial situation but won’t share the currency. I earn 21,000 after taxes, and rent was 7,000. I give my wife 12,000, and she would spend a maximum of 3,000 on groceries and 500 for our home fiber. We would have extra money to buy other things and do other stuff for fun and travel.

The point is we are doing okay financially, even though we need to save up for other things.

We never struggled with the baby financially. We were able to prepare, and we are still fine.

I also do day trading and freelance work, so that brings in extra cash(2,000-3,000) occasionally.

The main reason we don’t have a car honestly is my bad credit, which should be fine in a couple of weeks.

Now we have an extra 7,000 available and the care we are looking for goes around 4,000 per month

Back to the story.
We moved to her parents’ house, which is 92km away from work. So, to be fair, they are great people; they have been extremely supportive.

Most nights, my mother-in-law sleeps with the baby, and they let me use one of the cars for work every Tuesday and Thursday.

We asked to contribute to the expenses, and they refused.

Side note: My wife thinks we should save the money; on the other hand, I don’t like not adding value and just using without contributing anything. She would insist not to put fuel in the car if we happen to use the car and there is fuel. This I totally disagree with.

Basically, we are living expense-free.

I’m a self-reliant person, and I do have an open mind that I might be the issue here.

I believe in independence and being responsible for my family, which is her and our daughter.

The benefits of living with her parents are overwhelming, but I can see issues slowly creeping in.

Firstly, in our culture, this situation where a man moves in with the in-laws is uncommon, and there is no reference for this type of dynamics. All of a sudden, her father is the head of the home, and I need to humble myself to a child, and those are two different mindsets.

Secondly, my wife and her siblings all know what is expected of them in any given situation because their parents raised them, so everyone knows their place except me. More often than not, I will find myself out of place.

Thirdly, I am an introvert, and I enjoy my space either with just my wife and child or alone on my laptop. I enjoy my work, so I can be on the laptop all day. It sometimes feels like I am being rude. I usually spend most of my time in the office, and I will even make excuses to stay longer.

The truth is I don’t have much freedom to express myself. My wife and I don’t have privacy to have difficult conversations, and I feel those are conversations that actually move the needle when it comes to our goals. These are the type of conversations that spark serious debates and can get emotional, but we do come around and make decisions. I believe having these in front of everyone would be damaging, specifically to my relationship with her family.

I’m slowly getting frustrated by our situation, even though many would see it as a nice problem to have. I know at some point I need to speak to my wife about this, but this comes with the risk of her being offended. I would also be sensitive because it can easily be mistaken for me not liking her family.

Any advice?