how do i tell people i did better than them w out sounding like a dick

3 comments

1. Well, just answer their question. As long as you’re not adding anything like “oh but C’s are totally fine don’t feel bad” or some demeaning crap like that you’re good.

2. Here’s a bit of advice. Most people don’t like when you do better than them no matter how they receive that information.

   I’ve had a few friends in the past who were like this. I started getting into things like art, writing lyrics and creating music in general. While I’m not exceptionally skilled now, I’m FAR better than I initially was. Those friends didn’t mind seeing my work because it wasn’t that great. I could almost feel them making fun of me when, for example, one asked ‘can I show this to my wife?’ And didn’t provide any feedback when I asked to let me know what she thought. I knew the things I made weren’t amazing. But I genuinely wanted feedback to improve. My friends had no issue pointing out a list of flaws they saw in my work when I mentioned wanting feedback. Maybe they’d try to throw in a ‘you did way better than I could do! (Which is a terrible comment, btw, never say that to anyone. No one wants to receive a complement that’s essentially a pity party) But as I got better and better, they had less and less to criticize. They went from listing flaws to not even responding a lot of the time or saying some lack luster thing like ‘I like it’ when I’m clearly showing signs of improvement. Almost like they didn’t want me to be motivated to carry on.

   I currently have a friend who won’t even listen to a simple 8 bar loop I send him. Hell say ‘I’ll listen to it when I can’ and then either never reply back about it or just continue on to a different conversation a few hours/days later.

   And no, I don’t spam people with my work. I’ll only send something that I’m immensely proud of. Not to mention that most people sent ME things like food they made or a scarf they were knitting or something. So it’s not like I was annoying them all the time or overstepping boundaries. And yes, I’m ALWAYS trying to build people up. If I see something that my friends are skilled at, I’d make sure they know that and I’d even try to motivate them in ways like ‘damn you have a fantastic eye for color theory, you should try to expand on that!’.

   It’s a jealousy thing. Most people don’t want to acknowledge others doing better because then it makes them feel inferior. I guess it also doesn’t help that I’m pretty good looking and thus get judged harsher. Like ‘oh he looks good, it’s unfair that he’s also good at other things’. I don’t even really know if I’m trying to give advice or just vent at this point lmao.

3. Don’t make them feel bad for it if their proud of it. Usually I say at least you passed