I found nude images of women saved on my husbands reddit. I am currently pregnant and chunky, I feel as though I don’t please him anymore therefore he turned to getting pleasure from other women who are naked. I just feel so low and depressed, when I confront him about it he just gets angry.

17 comments

  2. This is a wonderful territory for conversation. Yes, your feelings are hurt because at the end of the day, we all have some sort of feeling of being unworthy. And this can be taken as a validation of that.

    But it can also be turned into an opportunity to talk about things in a non accusatory way. Maybe find some open ground to explain how it makes you feel, but also show him that you understand he’s human and has needs too. I guarantee that him looking at those photos isnt a threat to your relationship. It’s just entertainment.

    I’d recommend cooling off a little bit, and try to come at it from a different angle, and I bet that you will learn some pretty neat things about each other that might even just help to strengthen your bond.

  3. I don’t really have any advice but I am in the same situation! 6 months pregnant and found several photos of naked women saved on his phone. I tried to explain I felt betrayed and hurt – he said he has nothing to apologize for and that’s the end of that. It’s created massive problems in our marriage because even if he thinks it’s no biggie, I do. And sometimes I feel crazy because he’s so assertive that it’s no big deal and just my “hormones making me crazy”. But girl I’m with you- it’s hurtful & wrong!

  4. I’m so sorry, but this is super common with men. It’s not right, it doesn’t feel good, but he will very likely come back around after your baby is born.

    How you proceed purely depends on what you want. But I would suggest therapy because he’s not considering your feelings the way a husband should.

  5. or u can do is just tell him how it makes u feel and also ask him why he does it and how’s hes feeling I’m sorry u have to go though this and while pregnant wishing u the very best

  6. God. These sorts of posts are so fuc*ing depressing. Why are so many men such p*igs and awful assh*oles. So sorry for you lovie.

  7. Get over it, he a guy.
    I have heaps.
    But never been tempted to look else where,
    It mainly come from either hom or you not being honest about your fantasies with each other.

    I would get rid of all my photos if i could swap them with my wife but she doesn’t want to pose or get cheeky with me even though i find her attractive no matter what!
    I wish i had more of her when she was pregnant but i also am a little shy when asking for things from her, kinda sick of getting rejected.

    Oh, got to go, thinking of her i get too turned on !!

    Dont stress.

  9. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. This is not okay and something you should be okay with, ever.

  10. This is not an easy subject but first I’m sorry about the hurt and the insensitivity. You should feel beautiful.

    Men are visual. There’s an old Yiddish saying that goes something like it doesn’t matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home. But the intellectual awareness that married men who might have higher sex drives than their wives and might masturbate, view porn, or otherwise find other outlets ( not affairs) that go beyond marital sex is different than seeing it on their phone.

    I’m not judging, but I am disappointed that men aren’t as sensitive about this when younger, and when they do wake up their wives are over it at that point. The late Walter Cronkite had a running joke with his wife that he’d have a 20 year old mistress on a 70 foot yacht and she said he was more likely to have a 70 year old partner on a 20’ boat.

    I hope this gets worked out and he learns discretion and sensitivity to you.

  11. Same happened with me, I just gave birth to our second son, whole life seems like a mess, body is not supporting after c-section and just after 40-45 days of delivery my husband tells me he wants to go on a business trip with one our employee, we have our own company, we already discussed that you cannot go with that girl she is new and it would be awkward, but still he ignored all this and says that in the morning he will ask her and he has decided to go. It made me sick to the core, i felt insecure, he would be the boss she is employee, why he would even say that? Since then we are not on good terms, she is still working in office more closer to him, i am staying home ofcourse to look after the kids, i can work from
    Home, my work is not important, dont be stupid, there is nothing its all in your head, you are becoming toxic, I cannot justify at every step, get over it, write it on my face that i said that, it never happenes so forget it. Always yelling if i will ask him to stay away from that girl. She would spend hours in his cabin, if i will reach office without any prior information, she would be with him. Had many fights, he won’t fire that one particular girl, still fighting my own battle everyday. He has a different account on reddit just to watch porn, all kinda nudity. Have no time for me, hardly any moment together, and he blames me that i am becoming toxic so it is hard to be romantic with me. Here and there I caught his lies time and again. So yeah I guess all men are same. Even after 11 years of love marriage, we are strangers living under one roof.

  12. Maybe he always had those pictures even before you were pregnant? Don’t automatically think it’s always you. And don’t always go looking for problems either.

    Besides those pictures were you suspicious of your husband? I mean why did you go to his reddit?

  13. Jesus. The comments justfying this are fucking pathetic.

    *”Men are visual creatures.”*

    *”Maybe he had them before you.”*

    *”Get over it, hes a guy.”*

    Just because you have a penis between your legs doesn’t mean you get an excuse to be a shit partner. You don’t do things that you know are going to hurt the person you’re supposed to love. **Especially** during a vulnerable time for them. The same goes for women, but we’re talking about men in this post, so that’s what I’m addressing.

    Because let’s get real here. If the roles were reversed, you all wouldn’t be anywhere near okay with the same shit happening to you that you expect us to be okay with.

    For fucks sake. Do better. Be better. ✌🏼 

    As for the OP and the ones who’ve been in the same place as her, my thoughts go to you. I see you because I was you too. So, I hope you all find healing and peace through your pain.

  14. If naked images of women make you feel this insecure life must have been and will be very hard for you! Your emotional state of mind shouldn’t be dependent on the fantasy your the only women in the world nor that you’re the only one attractive to your husband. You are however the one he chose to be with that has to count for something right!

    I have been married for 14 years. That doesn’t mean I don’t find other people attractive! I just don’t act on it obviously.
    The point is pretending your partner is blind to all other fish in the sea is a fantasy so it’s best to roll with and deal with the reality not the fantasy.

    Last point to all the obviously massively insecure and hypocritical women here! Men looking at other women makes them alive not gross or creeps! Funny how you’re never branded that for drooling over Brad Pitt etc cause that’s different right!? Isn’t the whole premise of we’re equal that women possibly do the same ?

  15. Buying into the whole “if my man so much as looks at another woman, he must think i am ugly and is cheating” will only lead you to more misery.

    Men have eyes. Women have eyes.

    Your husband is straight. Getting married did not remove his attraction to the female form. Neither did your becoming pregnant.

    You snooped into his private activities and became upset?

    How would you feel if you had a journal where you recorded your sex dreams and he got upset?

    Please…. for the sake of the human race, stop trying to find ways to hate your husband

  16. In other words ladies, becareful having a kid. It could destroy you mentally, Physically, and emotionally. Doesnt sound like a good investment tbh…
    But other than that that dude is a fucking asshole and a disgrace

    I hope he suffers the way he should.

  17. Thank you for opening up about this my friend. Have you tried marital counseling/therapy to help with this problem? Do you have family, friends or church family/pastor you can turn to for support and guidance during this difficult time? Have you tried talking to him about this over something pleasant like a date or his favorite meal? As for me, I have been married to my wonderful wife for 13 years and I try to be a good dad to our children. I have faced similar issues and I have found that compromise on both sides is key if there can be forgiveness. I think you both can repair what you have but it takes understanding and compromise. I have been to marital counseling multiple times and the last time we got a book entitled “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman which is based on 40 years of research on happily married couples. If it could help us it can help just about anybody! I have some other resources that helped with this issue that I could share if you’d like (including a number to help you get counseling anywhere in the US: 855-382-5433). If there’s anything else I can do to help I would be delighted to and feel free to keep me updated if you want someone encouraging to talk to. I pray you can have the life and love you desire my friend.

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