I don’t know what to do. There’s this boy I’ll call him Andrew. We have gone in and out of contact over the years but each time it was as though we had been close and talking the whole time, I’ve never gotten along with someone more. He had said the same. We have always kind of referred to each other as bestfriend. Everyone around us who has known us both the whole time has always joked that ‘oh when are you two going to become a thing just hurry up’. Or just general saying we will need up together. This is also brought by the fact we had made a ‘marriage pact’ when we were 13 that we used to bring up when drunk.
For the past few months he has been hooking up with this girl regularly (like friends with benefits type). They only just stopped very recently.
Now I haven’t seen him really in a few weeks but randomly a few days ago I could not stop thinking about him. I was thinking about how all these little interactions and how I can’t really see myself with anyone but him. Like all the relationship type things I’ve had, I’ve romanticised the person so much out of reality but with him it’s just him. Andrew. I don’t have to romanticise at all. Keep in mind most teenage friendships do not last this long. I ended up calling him yesterday and we spoke on the phone for a few minutes but he had to go. He texted me after and we ended up talking for hours and just it’s so easy. I feel the crush warmth in my stomach and every song is about him now.
It feels like such a delicate thing. Him and this girl also only just stopped being anything like it’s soon. and what if I ask to go out and he is like wtf. What if I end up really liking him and tell him and he doesn’t reciprocate. I don’t know what to do. I’m also worried if I ask to hangout rn seeing as I just called him out of the blue yesterday and I don’t want to look like desperate? I feel so stuck and I can’t stop thinking about it.
TL;DR think I have serious feelings for long term guy friend, wondering what to do about it
1 comment
The best way to approach the subject would be through whatever communication patterns or tones you two have already set when you already talk. Especially if you’ve talked about personal stuff before. Keeping a familiar tone will help it come off as less jarring.
Generally speaking, a good way to bring it up would be less of a “confession about my true feelings” vibe, but more of a conversational “hey, how would you feel about trying this?” vibe. For example:
“Hey, I was thinking about what you’ve talked about with the girl you were hooking up with. We’ve been friends for a while now – would you ever be interested in giving dating a shot?”
From there, you could get an impression of how he feels about it, and you can decide whether you’d want to share more about how you feel, or if you want to back off.