Dads of Reddit, what can we do to make our significant others’ pregnancy more bearable?

38 comments

  2. Do things in the house, and bring gifts like blankies, candles, food… she’ll love it.

  3. Keep her fed. Anticipate what she’s going to want to eat. And never, never ever tell her she’s gained weight. I don’t care if her belly is getting there in the morning and her butt that night, looking great sweety!

  4. Have you asked her what you could do to make her time more bearable? I’m sure she would have a thought or 6 on the topic.

  5. Never ever ever get openly frustrated no matter how grouchy they get, be a sea of calm and let it wash over you đź‘Ť

  7. Reassure her that you still find her attractive. Keep the ‘beached whale’ comments to a minimum.

    Frankly, I thought both of my wives looked rather splendid when pregnant, so, it was easy.

  10. From my experience and what I learned

    * Assist with more housework especially anything involving physical exertion.
    * Visit as many OBGYN/doctor appointments.
    * Go clothes shopping with her and make sure to give plenty of compliments.
    * Do not hesitate to satisfy those pregnancy cravings. Even at 3am.

  11. Back rubs, leg and foot rubs. Keep the house clean. Talk about the future together. Be patient with her. Be sure to talk to the baby. As mentioned elsewhere, make sure that she knows that you love her and still consider her the most beautiful woman in the world.

  13. I’m on mobile and don’t know how to link it for you, so please forgive me…
    There’s two really good subreddits that have been amazing in helping my parenting journey.
    PreDaddit and Daddit.
    Both subs are awesome. Hope it helps, and again, sorry for being a noob.

  14. Inflatable donut tube. Wrap it with a sheet and allow your significant other to lay in it. For the majority of women, it’s enough space to prevent any harm to the baby and takes a lot of stress off their backs.

    Ask her doctor, though, before taking random redditor advice. It worked for my spouse is the only reason I suggest it.

  15. As a currently pregnant woman (due in 3 weeks!) I’ll tell you the things my husband has been doing throughout my pregnancy that have made me feel absolutely loved and supported and like he is the best partner anyone could ever ever have.

    -Being patient and understanding with my big feelings. Hormones are crazy. I cry almost every single day over *something*. Usually it’s because of overwhelming gratitude for our partnership and the beginning of our new family. But sometimes it’s because of lack of sleep, pregnancy pain, or anxiety about the big big changes on the horizon. Or from a cat that was hit by a car that I saw on my way home from work. No matter what, he has listened to me, never made my feel stupid for my emotions (even when they were a little disproportionate to the situation), and always offered a big hug and a safe place to cry it out.

    -He has taken on the huge bulk of the housework. There are no words to describe how exhausting pregnancy is. I’ve heard mom’s talk about it, but you truly cannot understand it unless you’ve experienced it. He encourages me to take naps and take it easy, says things like “you’re working the hardest” when I feel guilty for being so tired, and has just been amazing with working 40-50 hours a week on top of cooking dinners (or picking up food on his way home) and keeping things tidy.

    -He came to as many appointments as possible. I never ever felt like this was something I was going through alone, rather it was something happening to both of us. He also did his own research about the changes happening in my body so he knew what to expect and how to support me.

    -He keeps the snacks and drinks that help me feel better stocked in the house. I’m currently sipping a Reeds Extra Ginger Beer, which is like a magical potion for my nausea while he gets a frozen pizza in the oven and chops up some veggies for a salad. This is triggering my daily cry because I feel so blessed to be so loved.

    -This is the biggest: I was working a very physically demanding job (commercial kitchen with no AC in the middle of summer). He encouraged me to cut back on my hours and eventually quit because I was coming home from work everyday sobbing because my feet and back hurt so badly from being on my feet all day and I was so swollen from the heat. We sat down and made a budget together, we tackled it as a team, and figured out a way for me to get out of a work environment that wasn’t healthy for me and our baby. The way he prioritized my and our baby’s health, the way he never diminished my feelings or told me to suck it up, and that he was willing to make financial sacrifices and cut back on expenses for our family means everything to me.

    Pregnancy is the most vulnerable feeling I have ever experienced. The first few months I was spiraling, it was so scary to loose the ability to work as hard as I was used to and to take care of myself in the same way. You loose a huge amount of independence and I wasn’t emotionally prepared for that. But over and over he stepped up and proven that he is a partner I can trust, completely. I have absolutely no doubts that he will be an AMAZING dad. He already is

  16. Honestly just do more around the house and let her rest. I took over most all of her normal “chores” to let her get off her feet. I would also give my wife foot massages that she really enjoyed. Make life as easy as possible for her because she’s going to be tired and uncomfortable.

  18. Its very important to that when baby is born make sure you do as much of the feedings, diaper changes etc as you can. Let her rest as much as possible especially if she is home on Mat. Leave with baby.

  21. My ex became super sensitive to smell. My cooking pasta would make her feel sick. The same for rice. I ate a lot of cereal and more than once cooked outside on a camp stove. The only good that came out of that was one morning I went into work early to buy breakfast. The lady there commented on how it was rare for me to be in that early, then I told her the mrs was preggers and cooking scents made her feel ill. She said her daughter was the same way, then said I could eat there all meals if I wanted to. I had to pay a few bucks, but I had hot food daily. On w/e I’d make coffee outside then would eat cereal or sandwiches.

    Don’t down play cravings. Mine had them bad. And don’t overstock for them either. Mine went from loving salty things (pickles, olives, etc) to fruit only (melon). There was a moment ice cream was her jam, so I bought 3 containers. After 1 she was over it, so I had to suffer through 2 quarts of vanilla. Know what stores are open late/early so if you need to fill an order you can.

    Take over the heavy chores and anything else you can do. And don’t bitch, just do them.

    They might cry for no reason. Don’t try to help them find a reason, just give them a hug and say nothing.

    There will be a time they will be horny AF. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been up 22 hours, you need to take care of that.

  22. Not just while she’s pregnant, but when the baby comes don’t assume she knows more than you, don’t wait for her to ask you to do things. Patience and understanding…honestly you just asking now shows you’re ahead of a lot of soon-to-be dads.

  23. One thing that I haven’t seen mentioned in the comments is to take the mental load from her or at least help with it as much as you can. I have a 3 y/o and my wife is 32 weeks pregnant with our second one. When you’re expecting there’s so many things to do to prepare for the baby so not only help by doing all those things but be proactive and think of what needs to be done and do it so she doesn’t have to.

  26. Your pregnant partners need to eat a more balanced diet. If they’re having cravings it’s because their body is lacking something and desperately need it. This doesn’t happen if they are eating correctly in the first place.

  27. Pull out next time….

    But all seriousness, foot rubs, keep her fed, massages, baths, help out more with things she may be doing more of around the house and keep her cool (weather wise).

  28. Step up and do more around the house while she rests. Do the little things women love (back/foot/shoulder rubs, getting a bath ready, cooking dinner, etc) much more often. You know those movies and tv shows she loves but we can hardly stand? Watch them with her, even if it’s torturous lol.

    Keep her favorite foods and snacks in high quantities so there’s never a shortage. Make food runs on the fly, because those sudden urge satisfactions have some major dopamine hits, and that’ll definitely make her relaxed and happy.

    Keep the house clean and cool (from my experience she was always hot, so making it cooler than normal was the key).

    Later in the pregnancy, allow her to rest and be lazy if she wants to be. One thing I found that helped a lot was lifting her belly from behind with my arms wrapped under her belly, and just holding it there. She said it felt like heaven, because it eased the pulling weight tension.

    Show interest in the progress. Learn about the dad apps and follow them and share your excitement! This is a team effort, so be a team!

    And just be ULTRA patient! Pregnancy causes some major hormone and mood changes, and can bring about crying and laughter in the same breath sometimes.

  29. I’ll try to add on some ideas (as a woman with a 7 week old currently) that weren’t previously posted (those are all good though).

    – tell her and display actions of being physically attracted to her still. But also be considerate that she may not feel up to certain activities due to her pregnancy. And that can change from one day to the next – check in with her to see what she’s feeling in that moment.

    – along with attending her appts, research stuff outside of that. Show interest in learning what’s going on in her pregnancy (what’s developing this week in baby? What side effects may be kicking in soon?) child birth (what options are available? What can I do as a birthing partner to help her? Where will I be taking her?) baby care (what items do I need? How do I bathe a newborn? What’s the first poop like?) breastfeeding if she’s hoping to do that (what can I do to support her? Does she want to pump and if so, how do I care for breast milk so I can do that while she’s pumping?) and post partum care for her (what changes will she go through? What should I be aware of to look for for PPD and PPA?). She will be constantly googling and it helps relieve mental load if she doesn’t have to learn it herself and then teach you too. Learn it for yourself as well so you can have discussions about what you learned.
    – discuss HER wants for childbirth and the immediate post partum time. Sit down with her and have an honest chat about how she envisions it, what’s important to her and what she’s worried about. For post partum specifically talk about visitors and how many/when she wants them and know that she gets the say! If she doesn’t want visitors for a week, then you also don’t want visitors for a week. She will have just gone through a traumatic life change and physical change. She will not be comfortable with her body, she’s in pain, she doesn’t know how to care for this little adorable but helpless being that ONLY wants her. Those are not things that anyone (including the husband) is going through therefore she gets the final say and you must support her.

  30. Back rubs and foot rubs with the intention of actually helping her relax. Cook for her more often, clean the house as well, get used to doing this stuff anyway because when the baby comes, she will be busy with an infant. Let her vent, and simply just listen. Reassure her as needed. Don’t be overbearing about anything either, like don’t keep asking her if she’s feeling okay every 5 seconds, but if she does have a complaint, do what you have to in order to make her more comfortable. Remember, she’s growing a whole ass human inside of her, she’s tired, she’s probably not feeling well, and a million things are on her mind. So do what you can to make her life easier.

  31. My wife had a significant case of pregnancy brain. She had such significant memory problems that she was forgetting why she was entering rooms, where she placed things, and literally mid sentence forgetting what she was telling me. Her attention span was so limited that I was worried about her driving.

    Give her grace during this time. Help put things back where they go. Understand that she isn’t going to be functioning normally for the last few months. Be extra supportive if she asks for help. Reassure her that this is temporary… i know my wife was scared sometimes when she felt her body wasn’t under her own control.

  32. Mine just wanted me to have sex with her more. Sometimes 4-5 times a day on the weekends. She said it helped her cramps and tummy pains. So, I (being the loving hubby I am) obliged!

  33. Pick up her belly from behind.

    Keep all of her favorite and craving snacks stocked at all time.

    Keep reminding her that she is amazing, and beautiful.

    Last always end the day with rubbing her feet and calves.

  34. Wow, as a mum of three I commend you for even asking.
    My husband did absolutely nothing to help me through my three pregnancies. Only time he came to a doctors visit with me was to ask whether I’d still want sex after getting my tubes tied. Honestly, don’t be this guy, totally selfish, even going out on the town while I was in hospital. Then three weeks after the birth of our first baby, he told me he wanted a ‘marriage of convenience’. It absolutely broke my heart.
    Of course I said ‘no’, but it hurt me so deeply that our son and our marriage didn’t mean anything to him. Please treat your wife kindly, be there for her, and ask her often what she needs. It’s a very difficult time for women when pregnant, so please guys, understand this and treat her well.

  36. Just be excited for the baby.
    Talk about being excited, randomly say shall we go baby shopping, love her when you sit next to her, just reach over and hold her that means the most to us

  37. Remember that sleep gets more elusive uncomfortable and if the baby is late, your wife will get anxious and irritable. Preeclampsia is very uncomfortable too.
    My husband was extra touchy and loving then, and he maintains that pregnant women are so cute.

  38. Rub her feet. Tell her she still looks beautiful. Let her nap as much as she needs to. You’re a good man for asking the question!

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like