I (43F) am going through difficult times. A silver lining has been that a man from my past – like 20 years ago, has come back. We spent months talking on the phone and texting. We built up quite an attraction to each other, we decided to meet. We meet after talking for 6 months and had incredible sex. We plan when we can see each other again. Well it’s soon, but here the thing…
He had vasectomy so we didn’t use a condom. He came in my multiple times, and I didn’t shower right afterwards. It’s now been almost 1 1/2 months, and I have a painful uti that won’t go away. I secretly resent him, because I worked very hard on my health and I hadn’t had a uti in 15 years. Now, im thrown back in a life I haven’t had since my early 20’s: doctors appts, pain, prescriptions, more prescriptions. Depression from losing our connection, as I don’t text him as much. I can’t imagine having sex now. I haven’t told him this/ I’m afraid it will be a turn off for him. All I wanted was for us to get together for mind blowing sex. What do I do?
TDLR: blast from the past came in me too much, upsetting my vaginal flora and I got a persistent uti that won’t go away which is destroying my connection with him. And I haven’t told him yet out of fear it will turn him off.
Another weird thing is that the culture came back Group B Strep – he did give me amazing oral sex, maybe he was sick when he did it? I used to be so horny for him, now I’m a shell of a person- unsexy, in pain, itchy too. Went for all kinds of labs yesterday – std, etc.
Would a grown man be disappointed and turned off by this? Should I keep hiding my uti?
Any advice appreciated.
1 comment
So some people just aren’t compatible- body chemistry wise. It’s possible that, even if they are very clean and you are very clean, that your PH just doesn’t match. Maybe it’s a 1 time thing, maybe it’s chronic.
As to if you should tell him or not, I say tell him. You’re both adults and this is, unfortunately, a side effect of the sex. If you don’t tell him and just ghost him, you might be giving up on something you sound like you’re enjoying- and what if it’s just a 1 time thing. Worse case scenario is he’s turned off and things end… but things would already end if you just ghosted him or let the flame die out while you deal with it.