i’ve been talking to a guy from a dating app for about two weeks but have known him for a while. he approached me asking me out to dinner which i had to turn down because i was busy at time but said i was open to doing it later. since, he’s shifted into talking sexually to me at times and sending me pictures which i don’t mind but i’m becoming weary of him just wanting me for a hookup. so two days ago i texted him that i wanted to clarify that i did not want a one night stand and was looking for more of a person i could be with sexually but also spend time with and go on dates with especially since fall is coming up; without rushing into a relationship since i recently got out of one. he said he was totally fine with that and that he didn’t think he had it in his heart anyway to have a ons and then part ways. but i wanted to make sure so i asked him if he was absolutely sure i wasn’t just a one night stand to him bc i’ve had one in the past and it really ruined me emotionally so if he needed time to think, he should take some time. to this he replied “ok out of respect for you, i will take the time to think about it”. i was honestly expecting him to reassure that i wasn’t just a ons so him saying he was going to take the time really surprised me and gave me a bad feeling. we spoke again yesterday (just about our days), i asked him if he has thought about what we discussed and he said he’s been really busy but promises he’s taking the time to think and he’s taking this matter seriously. is this a bad sign? i would assume men that know what they want don’t need days or weeks to figure it out? its not like i’m asking him for a relationship bc i even specified i wasn’t. even though he’s phrasing it as “he’s respecting me by taking the time to think” i wonder if it’s him taking the time to think as a way of letting me down easy bc he knew he only wanted me for a hookup…should i just move on?
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This is tough. It’s so hard to read a guy’s mind, that’s for sure. Something that usually helps me is taking what he says to mean exactly what he’s saying. So in this case I would take his consideration at face value and not assign a “good” or “bad” meaning to it. It sounds like he may be interested in what you’re looking for, because if not he probably wouldn’t be taking any time to think about it. At the same time, if you’re skeptical of his motives it will make you feel weird about him in general.
I would wait for his answer, distract yourself (I know it’s hard!!), and see where things land. People always give that bullshit advice along the lines of “if someone’s unsure about you, that’s your answer” but that is just not true during these beginning stages. At the same time, there are plenty of other guys out there that are looking for something low commitment! So you could give up on this guy and find something that’s exactly what you’re looking for.