hey all! basically what the title says. whenever I have an opportunity to date or someone is interested in me, I freak out and think to myself they can’t be the one or that we would have too many differences to work. more often than not, I think this before even getting to know them on a deeper level.
there are a couple things that don’t exactly help: i am an introvert who loves alone time and I am terrified of messaging through social media or text. the thing is though, in person I manage to keep up a very convincing facade of being an extrovert people person (aspergers forced me to adapt at a young age) and i work in retail to make ends meet so most people will catch me when I’m in that mode. because of this I tend to attract extroverts which isn’t good because I know the moment my mask comes down it will not be what they expected.
the other issue is that I have a fearful avoidant attachment style, but this issue I can work through and will try my best.
should I just give people more chances and see where it goes? I feel like I am being overly cautious and particular with who I want and could potentially be turning down people who could be likeminded. I am hardly concerned with looks, I just want someone who likes what I like and has a good attitude and personality. am I asking for too much?
3 comments
I think you should give it a try! I am 21F and in college, just now starting to put myself out there. So far it’s working out but I think it’s only because i am being intentional rather than expecting someone to randomly come find me.
You absolutely should. Your brain is telling you what you need to do but self doubt is turning it into a question. Believe in yourself more!
You’re also young. If you don’t feel a pressing need to date, you can take it easier for a few more years and focus on your education/career.