A married couple is arguing. After an hour or so, partner A says “Go f\*\*\* yourself” and walks away.

Partner A acknowledges shortly thereafter that they shouldn’t have said that and apologizes.

Is this situation any better/worse if Partner A is the male husband vs the female wife?

5 comments

  1. Men are bigger and more powerful on average so there are tense interactions that absolutely are not equal in how they feel, even in the words and actions are identical.

    If you are both sitting and one party says something in anger, gets up and walks away, I don’t see any difference between men and women. If the man was standing over the woman and blocking her path, that’s a completely different story.

  2. I don’t think so because I think it’s wildly inappropriate to say to your spouse. What’s the context

  3. It’s pretty crappy for either of you to speak to the other that way, it doesn’t matter which one says it, it’s not nice to say to someone you are supposed to love and respect… The main thing I thought when I read this is who can be arsed to argue for an hour…..?

  4. Depends if you’re the guy and you want sex in which case just say you’re sorry a lot – doesn’t matter which one is you -you’ll end up having to anyway so just shorten the pain 😂 (Doesn’t make it right just true!)

  5. I think gender is irrelevant, the apology is what’s important. If it was genuine and they left space for partner B to still feel hurt by their words even after they’ve apologised for them, they’re doing their best to make good on their wrongdoing.

    If it helps, I’m a woman, and I had to reread this several times as I’d been so sure I’d read ‘he’ pronouns for partner A. When I thought it was a man I thought it was good that he apologised, very mature. When I changed the scenario in my head to make partner A a woman, I had a less forgiving frame of mind. That’s a problem with my internalised misogyny though, not with the reality of the situation.

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