Hello, Social skills! My entire life I’ve never had much social skills and to this day I still don’t.
I’ve tried putting myself into social situations numerous times recently since I started college last week but every time I was close to people, I just completely shut down and don’t go up to anyone. I pretty much turn into Raj from The Big Bang Theory.
I am looking for some help on how I can overcome this and become better socially?
4 comments
I used to be very open and social with anyone to the max until I turned around 25. At that ish point in life I started to spiral and for many years after I wouldn’t talk to ppl and shutdown. Personally due to negative thoughts about myself. I’ve been slowly being more confident in the person I am again for some years now. I can’t just tell you be confident as if you don’t already know that, but I can say if you work on whatever is closing you down, it shouldn’t last forever. Just don’t give up is all. Isn’t the best advice but eh best I got haha.
Start out with small get-togethers or hangout spots. It’s overwhelming to start up convos in big places sometimes because there is a lot of stimulation and you can feel “on stage”. Do you have any hobbies or interests? Start out in related places. Then you have something to talk about or contribute. You can also volunteer to go chat with elderly at nursing homes. They love visitors, have great stories, and often can talk for hours. Would be great practice in a low pressure setting
Cliché advice but can you take interest in another person and just ask them about their lives?
Allow yourself to shut down, ask yourself do you really want to be in that situation? There’s nothing wrong with having few friends and being alone.
If you do want to meet new people, if your college has student clubs you can go to gatherings with people with the same interests as you. Having something in common is a great way to open up. You can also target other shy people like yourself. Instead of going to the center of the conversation, if you detect someone who is more to themselves, avoid eye contact etc. that might be where you want to hang out.
OR just wait until an extrovert adopts you :p