This just happened this morning. Me and my fiancé were laying in bed and joking around. She started making jokes about being an escort to make. To preface they were all jokes. I kept telling her no she can only be with me. And she kept escalating the joke making the amount more and more money. I got tired of it and said I’m done with the conversation and left the room. We started texting and I told her I was hurt and how she could fix the issue (a hug and a sorry). She said she was sorry through text. Another thing is she isn’t the touchy feely type of person. She said it made her uncomfortable so she wouldn’t do it. It then turned into a bigger argument. We are still going to stay together so please don’t say anything about that. The question or advice I need is if I’m overreacting?
Tl;dr: fiancé made a joke that hurt my feeling and it exploded to a fight and now I’m wondering if I’m overreacting
22 comments
Girlfriend is uncomfortable with a hug and wants to be an escort? Think about this for a second with your big boy brain okay?
Bro… the hilarity…. Stop being an insecure baby
>I got tired of it and said I’m done with the conversation and left the room.
Yeah, you over-reacted.
Or, rather, you under-reacted, and then you over-reacted.
You guys were engaged in a playful, joking conversation that you seemed to understand was a joke. At a certain point, the joke stopped being funny to you. At that point, you have an obligation to speak up *before* it gets to the point where you have to end the conversation and leave the room.
It’s fine to be enjoying a conversation and then to be not enjoying it, but your obligation to your partner is to speak up about it in a way that minimizes drama *because she can’t read your mind.*
You demanding an apology in a very specific form feels excessive because, quite frankly, she’s probably upset, too – she was having a fun conversation and probably feels blindsided by the sudden change, and now you’re engaging in power play about it. She’s uncomfortable about it because the whole dynamic is icky from her perspective and honestly, it’s hard to trust someone when something like this happens.
It’s not her fault that she stepped on an emotional landmine, and it’s not your fault for having one (we all do!). But you can’t treat her like a criminal for it when as far as she knew you two were having a fun, playful conversation.
She’s cheating. Leave her
I feel like you overreacted. If the joke made you uncomfortable then you say that. She could then apologize.
If she’s not a touchy-feely person and you know that, I’m not sure why you’d specifically ask for touchy-feely things and argue when she’s not up for it.
So you got upset about the plot to Indecent Proposal, then tried to leverage that into a hug you know she doesn’t want?
Come on, buddy.
1. Her “joke” is coming from real thoughts about wanting to escort.
2. Yet she claims not to be “touchy feely” and doesn’t want to hug her own boyfriend.
3. She doesn’t want to give you the comfort you are looking for, but she fantasizes about being paid to give strangers sex.
4. So I think she has other bigger problems, maybe an abused background or psych issues. Find yourself a gf who doesn’t joke about becoming a sex worker.
Yeah he overreacted. How can a person who isn’t capable of hugging someone for comfort ever going to be an escort.
OP, Have you considered that you might be with the wrong woman?
I don’t think you overreacted, what she said was disrespectful
Similarly agree with most people. It’s ok since it had only just happened and if she does with her friends but if she does it again I would think that’s rude.
Also, If you get someone that doesn’t reciprocate the touchy feels either learn to deal with that or move on. I want a girl who at least some of the time can’t keep her hands off me.
These ages can’t be right
If you got hurt for such small thing you and your fiance gonna be having bad time lol
Are you guys like 12?? 😐 nvm I just saw the ages 🫠
Don’t have conversation via text.
Yes you overreacted. It was a joke.
But I also wonder why she can’t give you a hug to make you feel better. Like, I understand it’s not her favorite thing, but part of being in a relationship is that you occasionally compromise for the sake of those you care about.
I don’t think it was appropriate for you to try to get her to understand and respect a boundary of yours, while simultaneously disrespecting a boundary of hers…
Overall, I think your conversation was just a fun hypothetical scenario situation. It personally wouldn’t have bothered me at all, I can think of so many different funny points to throw in on a convo like that. But sometimes we don’t know what our boundaries are until they are crossed. Now you know.
If you are a touchy feely person and that’s your love language, either you – accept that your love language is not going to be reciprocated by your partner, or – really think about how much you need your love language to be met by your partner. But it’s not cool to force her into a situation she’s uncomfortable with as the end all be all to fixing your feelings. That was a bit cruel imo.
She couldn’t hug you? That’s weird
What’s her number? I can take a joke
Yes. I didn’t even need to read the explanation. It’s just yes.
Come on. That is cringy stuff that gives me the ick. “Hug me for comfort” “cuddle me” “I’m insecure cuddle me for comfort” 🤢. Nasty. What are you 12?
I think the overreaction is the walking out of the room and then explaining over text. It’s totally okay to get uncomfortable in a discussion or joke with ANYONE, but the way you handled it was not great. If changing the conversation doesn’t work, then just saying them “I don’t want to be the person to ruin your fun, but at the same time this conversation is making me feel really uncomfortable and I’d like to change the subject please”
I had a similar problem with my boyfriend some years back, every day he was so snappy at me and I lost count how many times he would say something along the lines of “I’m fucking done with this conversation so stop talking” just out of no where, and it could be about anything. I decided to do it to him one time and he said I was really rude to him, when I pointed out every single time he did it to me and what he said to me and told him what I wished he said instead. At that point in his life he was angry at work all the time and took it out on me and he’s never done that to me since. But we now calmly say to eachother if we want to change the subject and it works for us, even if it makes it slightly awkward for a moment
I don’t ever comment on stuff but look…joke wasn’t cool if she kept pushing it then it had some type of ‘substance’ in her head.
Make it clear that you don’t want that & to not joke about stuff like that. If she disregards your request then something deeper is at play.
Tread carefully & please do not feel like you’re overreacting with your feelings are involved. No one likes being hurt so if it hurts you it’s for good reason. If you disregard your feeling you’ll one miserable in the end.
Oh woah. That is so toxic.