Sorry this is my first time posting here.
So my Bf and I have been dating for 2.5 years, things were great at first. He was understanding of my CPTSD (abuse) and was willing to be my support while I went to therapy. It wasn’t even 6 months in before I started seeing his flaws. He had no boundaries with friends and that was a long time and battle to get him to see how they were treating me and how he was treating me poorly. (Alcohol was also involved). So after it started seeming like he was making healthy changes, I started feeling more and more like he was just doing the same thing of leaving information out. So needless to say that didn’t help me trying to trust him. Now I don’t want to sound like I am an angel, I recently got diagnosed with adhd. Since I started medication I found out that I didn’t have control over my feelings and that I felt them like an explosion and I took that out on him. I also wasn’t fully listening to him (I never knew better because I was listening, I just didn’t know I had an issue). So me being on medication is helping alot but he is worn out, and I can’t fix this relationship alone. Like there is no intimacy, none. No hugs, kisses, hand holding, the tango, we don’t even sleep in the same room. I fully understand his side on that because he’s hurt. I just want communication from him. I don’t even feel like a roommate at this point. He can’t say that he will even put in effort, so I don’t feel motivated to either. I am completely dependent on him, so I have been trying to separate myself. Because I don’t want all that responsibility on him and in case we have to split. I even started looking for parttime remote work incase things end so I don’t lose my job. I don’t like that I am planning all this especially because we start couples therapy in 2 weeks, and he is willing to go with me. What can I do? Is couples therapy the only option? Should he start his own therapy? I think we are both autistic/neurospicy would getting diagnosed help the relationship? Does both of us being neurospicy (possibly) effect communication?
TL:DR- my partner and I suck at communicating and expressing our feelings. What should I do? Will therapy work?