I (M33) went on a date with a girl (F22) whom I met on Tinder. Now, initially, her friend jokingly swiped right for a bunch of guys on her Tinder profile, which I found out later. We texted for about a week. The reason being she was busy with her finals and final paper which she had to turn in that last week. This was all legit the case because she sent me the video of her finals project (I didn’t ask, it just came up and she offered to send it to me to hear my opinion). Also, I know I might catch some flack here for being that much older than her, but other than a few things, we really have a lot in common when it comes to shared interests.
We met last night and it was all going very well. I alternated between playful banter and serious topics. In short – if I were to replay the date, I’d do it more or less the same. The thing I keep replaying in my head, though, is if I should’ve gone for the kiss. After we were done with the 1st place where we had a drink, she threw me a curveball and said we were going for a drink at the place where her friend works, the same friend who swiped left on me. I handled it pretty well, because both of them, especially my date, laughed mist of the time we were there. The only window of opportunity for a kiss was when I was walking with her to the bus station. But the whole walk was so fast and the whole second half of the night just didn’t feel to go “slow enough” for me to get her and myself into the mood, although I could sense by the way we quickly hugged and her general energy towards me that she wouldn’t object.
I’m wary of kissing on the first date because I tried it twice before, the only times so far, after getting back into dating after a breakup, that I thought the opportunity presented itself, but both times the girls just didn’t feel it and rejected me. Now I’m wondering if I played this particular situation right and if me not going in for a kiss meant I missed an early opportunity which was make or break. I know every woman is different, but I’m hearing cases both for and against kissing on the 1st date and don’t know who to trust.
Just to be clear, after the 1st date, I messaged her and told her how we should meet again soon because the first time we met near her neighbourhood so it’s only fair that we meet near mine. She immediately agreed and we settled on Tuesday. I’m planning on this date to be more chill and have more seaside walks, more unplanned routes and so on.
All of that being said, did I blew it by not kissing her the first time and if not, should I just continue the flow from the 1st date and go for the kiss on the 2nd date? Or would that also be too soon?
Thanks in advance to all and hope you’re having a good one!
9 comments
If she thinks you’re hot, you don’t have to worry about skipping the first date kiss. If she thinks you’re hot, she’ll even initiate the kiss on the second date because she won’t be denied any further.
Who cares?
If you’re uncomfortable with it then it doesn’t matter what she wanted or expected. If it was a deal breaker for her then find someone else
Don’t give a woman everything she wants on the first day. Make her desperate a bit. Then strike.
You are doing what many people do now and overthinking. When it feels right to kiss, you will know.
Quite the opposite for me. 🤣
If I’m attracted to you in person, yes kiss me at the end of the first date. If I’m not attracted to you in person, you’re getting an ass out hug when it’s time to say bye 😂
It wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for me. I’d want it on the second date or I’d start seeing the connection as platonic.
Dealbreaker is not the right word.
The girl wants to feel desired, wanted, she wants to feel the sexual tension with a guy she is on a date with.
But that doesn’t necessarily mean that if you don’t kiss her, it’s a dealbreaker; unless she was making it really, really clear that she wanted to be kissed.
But going in more than 3 dates without kissing is usually over. A kiss should happen by the second date at the latest. If it doesn’t happen that’s a bad sign.
As a woman, first date kisses gross me out tbh. Would like to get to know someone first, one date is not enough time. Really depends from person to person, but if you have a second date then you’re in the clear.