I (35 f) have been married for working on 9yrs to my hubby. But seems like after the first year, the flame is gone? Why? The hand holding, hugging for no reason, just simple little things that he done that so I knew he still found me attractive and still loved me are now gone. Now I only get touched for $ex, the dog gets more attention than me. Just hurts. Do all men “drift” away after few years? I try to b there for him, do the things he wants to do; things I have no interest in just so I can spend time with him bc he works out of town so much. But I just dnt know. So confused..
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This is specific to each couple. I’ve been with my partner 35+ years and while things change with time we still hold hands, hug, etc. every day. Just got back from a walk around the neighborhood this evening and we held hands most of the way. I know other couples that are similar. But I also see couples all the time that have been together for decades that barely interact at all. It’s not a gender thing, it’s a relationship thing. Sounds like he’s detached from your relationship to some extent– counseling might help with that?
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No, not all men but it takes conscious effort. He works out of town a lot and his interest in his wife has waned….I’m suspicious. He’s either tired as hell, has gotten overly comfortable and doesn’t realize that his lack of effort is destroying his marriage, he’s checked out of the relationship, or there’s a mistress. Start crossing off things from first to last in this list. Have a conversation about his stress/energy levels and see if that’s effecting him, then have conversations about your need for more romantic engagement and effort, and go from there. Hopefully, it’s the innocent reasons and not the malicious ones.