Does anybody else here have a tough time romanticizing and putting attractive women on a pedestal? How can I get past this?
Title says it all. I’m working past it but when I see a beautiful woman whose just my type it like activates this lust/fantasy of totally connecting with and loving this girl and hitting it off.
It’s unfortunate because many of these women are either actually not my type, not interested, or just flat out not a good person. It’s hard to connect these two and construct a wise picture and really evaluate a woman based off your compatibility with her and not appearances and not fumble over yourself.
Im in my early 20s and would like to treat all people the same it’s just interesting how this has become a bit of a problem for me. I work on myself all the time and am mostly satisfied except my love life. I’m starting to believe it’s a lack of experience type thing and really just getting to know and speaking to more women in general, primarily attractive ones.
Thanks peeps
8 comments
I hear you, brother. We all lose our cool around hotties, they notice, and get turned off. The best answer is practice. The more you’re around them, the calmer, more measured, and less panicked you’ll be. Do you have a hot friend, colleague, buddy’s wife, even extended family member who is female you can ask?? Or borrow her to go out as a wing man, or even get a picture with. Hot chicks are attracted to guys who are with hot chicks.
Sleep with her first.
It’s helpful to just think that they’re not all that special. As in yea she’s attractive but how many of hers are there? In the grand scheme of things, there’s a bunch of them so why be so hung up on just one?
Maturity and experience. There’s a reason each generation makes the same mistakes. There is no secret technique or life hack for maturity and experience.
I couldnt be cool until I could. Had to be uncool a lot first. That’s just the way it is. Some people learn their lessons faster than others, so when you burn yourself, try to concentrate on what you did wrong. What you **don’t** want to do is rationalize it all on the woman, think “she’s a tease/golddigger/bitch.” People who think like that deny themselves the opportunity to mature and learn how to be better.
I’m not advocating this, I’m just saying its how I deal with this. If I see a beautiful woman the first thing that comes to my mind is, “She’s way out of my league” and that is the end of that. Having reminded myself of that it makes it easy to just act like a decent and polite human being because I have no delusions of having a chance.
You are basically being driven by testosterone which is entirely natural. Nature doesn’t care about you, it just wants the next generation.
Time gives you a better perspective but it is a long wait. Many men seem to calm down when they get into their 30’s.
Go to r/Seduction… ask the question there and wait for the answers.
You put women on pedestal not because you are in love with them, but coz you are “in love with love”.
What helped me was constantly getting my hopes dashed. I rarely, if ever, get very invested in someone anymore because they usually don’t feel the same.