A mutual friend (28m) gave my (28f)number to someone (let’s call him X) (29m) wanting insights about working in my country. X reached out, introduced himself, but then said he’d gather his questions and let me know later. He did continue the conversation just as general chit chat. Found it a bit unusual. Thoughts on why someone would approach without questions ready? Communication has been via text message only
TL;DR – a mutual friend (28m) introduced me (28f) to someone(X) (29m) who was going to reach out for professional reasons. X had no questions – any thoughts?
7 comments
Sounds like they wanted to pre-qualify that you were willing to give them advice before spending the time to prepare a list of questions.
Did your mutual friend ask you for permission to do this?
Some people expect you to do all the work for them. They’re not looking for advice, they’re looking for the classmate who will do their homework.
I’ve done this. Initial chat is to make sure both parties are okay with the request. Then I’ll work on the questions knowing it’s okay. Also to gather info on who I’m talking to, get a sense of their communication style, so I can refine the questions.
Sounds like X is not that serious about it yet. He doesn’t even know what he wants to know – he just likes the idea of working in your country right now. You may hear back from him, and you may not.
Giving you time to prepare as well.
Did the mutual friend let you know he’d given out your number, or get your permission first? If not, I’d get in touch with them to make sure this is legit — and then inform them it was very inconsiderate to give out your contact info without your permission.
Because, yes, I’d consider it unusual to reach out without preparation, just to make small talk. It seems a waste of your time, not something one typically does with someone you hope to rely on for professional advice.