Hi, i just realised that I have never really invited my friends to hang out with ,because i mainly only have 1 friend group that i rely on to make plans with. So how do i go about forming deeper friendships with people I know, but not necessarily did things with outside of school?
Fyi: these are individual friends/acquaintances from school, not necessarily from a same friend group but i met them from a social club.
any tips or advice is much appreciated! Thanks for reading.
1 comment
You want to start by being aware of how they view you and how they view one another. I.E – do they hang out together outside of school? If so, what do they think about that fact that you don’t hang out with them? If they don’t hang out together to begin with then you can very easily take the initiative there and suggest things to all do together.
If they do hang out, try to get a sense of where you stand:
1. They are receptive to you joining their group, and assume you haven’t yet because you lack the time or interest in doing things outside of school
2. They are not receptive to you joining their group for some reason or another
I mention reason 2 not to make you paranoid as I don’t know the situation and nothing in your post indicates that they don’t want to hang out with you, but it’s an important thing to consider before you make overtures to get closer. It also doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t like you, as sometimes individuals / groups welcome people in some contexts but keep them at an arm’s length for some reason – you want to sense if they are (have you tried and failed to make plans before?) and if so, why? Again, there is nothing to indicate that this is the case, but you want to always consider things like this as you develop your approach.
If you take stock of the situation and determine that they’re open to hanging out with you, the best way to make an overture is around an event that’s already happening, i.e is someone else throwing a party, is there a concert in town, a new movie being released… Invite em to something like that vs just making plans to hang out in a mundane way. Its unclear whether you’re talking about your main group of friends or other people here, but if it’s other people then it should be doubly easy to invite them out with your regulars. Good luck!