Hi everyone, thanks for being here!
I’m the type of person who has a checklist of things that I’m looking for in a guys, just simple things like being funny, nonsmoker, non-drug user, etc. when I date them. I found out that the guy that I like the most right now smokes weed basically everyday. He’s so funny and cute but immediately when I found that out I just knew that we could only stay as friends. Funny enough though! The next guy that I went on a date with also happens to do some questionable smoking of weed and other drugs…
My mind is just thinking, do thatttt many guys smoke everyday? Smoking is something that I find very unhealthy and would never do, so I’m just wondering how I can attract the type of guys that I want to attract.
18 comments
Find healthy habits like the gym,church,dance,basketball, painting classes or whatever you like and look for like minded Individuals that hold themselves to what you’d want in partner
“I’m the type of person who has a checklist of things that I’m looking for in a guys”
How’s that working for you?
this is why I stay away from dating. im not a fucking shopping list
Obviously the longer the checklist the fewer people are going to fit the criteria.
It’s up to you to figure out where you can be flexible and where you have a hard limit.
I find checklists a bit silly because everyone is human and even someone perfect on paper can be insufferable for other reasons.
If you really like and are attracted to someone but decide to pass because of an arbitrary thing on a list, it kinda feels like it’s your loss.
Then again, maybe you are super allergic to smoke or watched a family member die cuz of it and it’s something you just can’t budge on.
Lady, men shouldn’t be treated as “shopping lists” lol. You do realize that weed is legal in many states nowadays right? And Delta8 is legal in almost every state as well. Just because YOU don’t do it, doesn’t mean others should be judged for doing it.
Not everyone who “smokes weed” is doing it in a “partying” capacity or anything like that.
Now let’s talk about the “being funny” part. You’re basically treating men as a source of entertainment by saying that. If you want entertainment, watch Netflix instead because the truth is, no matter how funny someone is, there will come a time where you’ll eventually find it to be boring. So don’t base your likes of men on irrelevant vanity metrics like this.
>I’m the type of person who has a checklist of things that I’m looking for in a guys,
Might want to bring up the biggest deal breakers first on the checklist before even going on a date to save you time.
I have a checklist too but hey not everything is available in the grocery store all the time 😉
Well, what type of guys do you want to attract? Funny, non smoker, non drug user are basic, what’s the other criteria
lets see the checklist
funny, non smoker/drug user should be pretty easy to find. based on that criteria, I’m going to go with “just attracting the wrong guys”.
Smoking weed is now every bit as normal and common as having a beer. Sure, I also know women who also want guys who *never* drink but they realize that their dating pool is astronomically smaller. Eating junk food is also unhealthy but if you’re looking for someone who doesn’t eat chips, you’re going to have a lot less options there, too. There’s nothing wrong with wanting what you want, just be aware that when what you want is to avoid very common things your selection is going to be very limited.
You already know the answer. All women do.
“Not being ready for a relationship” always mean that they do not want anything serious with you specifically. Men and women are different, very different. Men would rather have sex with a woman they find repulsive than to masturbate alone. I know that you know this. As do other women in that situation. This is very difficult for women. Because they are unable to “know their worth.” Your league is who you can get in a commitment.
This is not new to you. As I said, you already know the answer. All women do. But you cannot apply it to yourself.
This will only get worse because that once you do lower your standards, you will feel like you are settling. Or “giving the ugly guy a chance, and he turned out to be worse.”
I know that this is not what you want to hear. And you will ignore it. But still.
That’s completely reasonable if you’re looking for a spouse and not a fling. Anything that bothers you a lot now, it will be an even bigger issue once you get married, if it gets that far. Anyway you don’t want that around your baby one day: https://nida.nih.gov/publications/research-reports/marijuana/what-are-marijuanas-long-term-effects-brain
“wondering if I have too many rules or I’m just attracting the wrong guys”
Yes, and yes.
Just kidding, plenty of guys don’t smoke. Go find one.
I think you have the process a bit wrong.
You dont attract the wrong guys.
People that initiate, or approach you to date, arent repelled by your checklist.
They dont even know it exists.
In dating one must meet many people to find compatibility.
There are apps that allow you to filter on those aspects, and no, it is not to much to ask for the person you are looking for not to be a drug addict.
Most woman do have too many rules in their checklist but the smoking is one id agree with.
What dating app are you using?
smoking weed is not unhealthy, indeed it is healthy and is prescribed in many modern countries as medicine…………