Is my mother abusive or am I just insane?

My (21F) mother (41F) has made hurtful remarks to me my entire life. Mostly revolved around my looks and my body.
I’m a sex worker so it does depend on how I’m looking but she pressures me into cosmetic surgery which I do not want. If I do not do it, she makes abusive statements about me being flat and that I’m making it harder for myself to take content. When she says this she yells it.

She has had rants about this topic the whole three years I been doing sex work. Sometimes she will rant for hours until I break and cry. Once I get to this point, she will blame it on my period or that I’m tired or some other issue.

I had an abusive ex boyfriend, once I got out of that relationship she made the whole healing process about her and about how hurt she was that I didn’t tell her. Screaming at me for days and telling me to take responsibility for being abused.

She constantly favours my little brothers over me and I cop all of her abusive statements, her favourite calling me lazy even though I work 12 hours a day.

My boyfriend (22M) is Persian , we have been together for two years and she always has racist rants about his background and is downright obsessed about our relationship. She constantly thinks he’s being controlling even though he is not. She thinks I have to speak to him on the phone around her otherwise it means he’s controlling me.

I’m just sick of her trying to control my whole life and have her constantly putting me down and bullying me. Once I tell her that she’s being abusive and a gaslighter she will blame something else always. Can never take responsibility. She says I believe I’m being abused because I was once in an abusive relationship.

TLDR; am I being abused or am I just insane?