I 30f and my long term boyfriend/common law husband 33m are fighting. For context, we’re both in recovery. I recently found out that he’s using again and completely lost it. Of course, he’s blaming me. Deflecting and telling me it’s all my fault because we’re not as intimate as we once were. I am a survivor of SA and sexual intimacy has always been hard for me. So I do admit I’m not perfect. However I’ve suspected him of using again for months now. Everytime I find something and confront him he just denies/lies to me, which is such a turn off. I am not attracted to him when he’s using… he’s a completely different person.. hence why I haven’t “been in the mood” (and he knows that’s how I feel)
He’s the one who fucked up yet im somehow the bad guy…
Idk I guess I just need outside context…
3 comments
Are you both going to weekly support meetings as part of your recovery?
Do you both have a ‘sponsor’ to resort to as needed?
You know how it is, sooner or later you’re gonna have a shitty day and that’s when it’s hard to stay clean.
Especially if the person you love is using it around you.
Your general mood is not gonna get better each time he acts out like this.
Obviously he’s going through some shit, but stay strong and be assertive.
Regards from a former addict!
You both shouldn’t be together imo.