So my boyfriend and I have been together for 18 months. We both feel very strong things for each other, he’s said im the love of his life and his is mine. our relationship was so beautiful in the beginning but during the past summer due to family and mental health issues i’ve developed bad habits. we argue almost every or every other week. we have begun saying hurt things to each other and i’ve begun doing things that i never that i’d do in a relationship and am ashamed of. this is my first relationship and his third. the relationship seems toxic now but i feel like that’s not us. he expects change in a day but i want us to keep trying no matter what and simply give this thing time.
for couples who have gone through extended rough patches. my question is how can i work through this? can i save this relationship or should i let him go
TLDR: my happy amazing relationship is turning toxic and i want to save it
2 comments
A last conversation as an ultimatum where both express what bothers them about the other and commit to solving their problems.
You mention that you’ve begun doing things that you thought you would never do in a relationship. What are some of those things? If you cheated on him, that is almost always the end of a relationship, and is non-negotiable. Again, if you both want to save the relationship, most things can be worked through, if both of you are willing to put in the work. Have you considered couples counseling? As stated previously, very few relationships will survive infidelity, which may not apply here since you didn’t mention it specifically. Other things, such as differing sex drives, disagreement on having children in the future, etc. signal fundamental incompatibilities, and will ultimately destroy the relationship. Most other things can be worked out if you both are willing.