My friend has really poor control over her emotions sometimes and I really push her buttons because I’m not a meek person like the rest of our friends. It doesn’t happen all the time but when she’s really stressed out she gets really agitated and it’s obvious to everyone. One time I yelled,” HEY RITA! (Not real name) DONT WALK”, because the pedestrian light was red but traffic light was green. But she got scared and yelled.” JEEZ SAM YOU SCARED ME. In an aggressive tone, it was fine I could’ve walked?!” And then the cars started coming. And I just want to find out a way to properly address her tone in that moment. Like I didn’t like the tone she used on me
2 comments
I wouldn’t worry about that instance, because you achieved a greater goal of keeping her alive.
Maybe don’t yell at her and she won’t yell at you? Treat people how you want to be treated.
By understanding that the friend is stressed and thus on the edge. Also don’t escalate the situation by yelling back.
In the red light example. You yelled at them first. Sudden loud noises (like yelling out of the blue) tends to spike the adrenaline and tension. And thus the person might yell. So be emathic of the situation and don’t respond to the adrenaline induced anger with more anger.
If you see that your friends is agitated, don’t provoke them and add additional stress.
By what you wrote it seems like you are asking how to difuse he situation after you poked the bear that was already agitated. You see that the bear is agitated and thus decide not to poke it. Yes you might need to poke it if it would save their life, but if they roar about it – don’t roar back.
Also, you scared her. Yelling out of fear is a normal reaction, thus don’t take it personally.