So I 18f have a brother 32m. He helped move me in and I guess at one point exchanged numbers with one of my other dorm mates 18f (we live in an apartment style dorm, there are 6 of us. She’s not my roommate but in the room next to me).
So they apparently met up and slept together last weekend. Now he’s apparently not showing much interest in meeting up with her again and it’s making things really awkward for me. She keeps asking me if I heard from my brother, if she can go on my social media to look at his (she sent him a friend requests and he hasn’t accepted them).
I tried to tell her my brother is just a jerk and to forget about him, but she keeps asking me. Like every day. She hung up a selfie she took of the two of them in her room and is telling people that she “kind of has a thing” with him.
What do I do to kindly let her know this probably isn’t going anywhere without hurting her feelings? My brother has a really good job and makes good money and has his own house so she keeps on saying he’s “definitely a keeper” but he isn’t the type of guy who wants to be in a relationship. I feel really bad for her.
35 comments
Did he let her know he isn’t looking for a relationship before sleeping with her?
Have you let your brother know she’s looking for him like she asked you to?
You can’t do anything about this. It’s a canon event. Just let it play out, you already did your part and told her it brother is a creep. Now she just has to learn that for herself.
My only real advice is to set strong boundaries with her. If she’s going to keep asking about your brother let her know that you will block her.
Next time she asks about your brother tell her to leave you out of it and don’t engage. Shame on your brother for doing the pump and dump on an 18 year old.
I mean, your brother is disgusting, sorry. I’m around his age and the thought of sleeping with an 18 yo is repulsive. Be direct with her next time. Even lie, say “I asked him about you and he told me to tell you it was a one time thing. Sorry, I tried to tell you he’s a jerk, please don’t ask me about him again.”
Tell you brother he is a dick and shouldn’t shit where you live as now you have to deal with it.
And with an 18 year old 🤦🏻♀️.
Call your brother and ask him WTF is going on, and ask why he hasn’t been calling your roommate.
If he starts on about her just being a fling then lay down the law and let him know that your friends and roommates are 100% off limits to him, and that it’s completely disrespectful that he shat where you sleep.
What are the odds he took her virginity?
Tell your brother to clean up his mess and to never mess with the people in your circle again. Setting aside the creepy age bit- he’s basically a dick to them and you- so- like just don’t do it.
Your brother sounds like a dick.
Well, you’ve tried to kindly tell her he isn’t interested more than once. It’s time to be blunt. “You two had a one night stand. No more, no less. Don’t waste your time on him. It’s time for you to move on.”
I ended up being interested in a coworkers brother after we all went out. We didn’t have sex but I thought we hit it off well.
He stop responding and showing interest.
I started complaining about it to the coworker and she shut it down immediately. She said something along the lines of “that has nothing to do with me and I don’t want to hear anything about it”
Touche. I didn’t bring it up again
There is probably a nicer way to word this. But if I was you, I’d address this pretty bluntly. Tell her that you don’t want to talk about your brother anymore and don’t want her to ask about him. She chose to go out with him and that has nothing to do with you. You like her as a friend but you want nothing to do with this situation.
It’s also probably not a bad idea to tell your brother that this was uncool and you’d appreciate him not doing something that will affect you like this in the future.
as a guy, all i can say is guys suck
tell your brother she got an abortion.
or ask him if his dick burns when he pees.
Tell her that it was a one night stand or something. Why is this difficult?
your brother is fucking gross lol
You’re brother is a fucking perve. You should have a deep discussion with him and how he treats young women.
Your brother is a fucking gross creep
What on earth is a man ur brothers age doing pumping & dumping barley legals. Gross. tell him to clean up his disgusting mess & find his manhood.
lmfaoooooo poor girl😭🤣🤣🤣
I’m the same age as your brother and have a sister your age. That is fucking disgusting what your brother did.
Tell him to clean up his mess and to never talk or touch anyone in your circle of friends.
Your brother is in his 30’s and fucks teens lmao. Tell him to grow the fuck up
Tell your brother she’s pregnant and keeping it.
You’re trying to spare her feelings but honestly in the long run she’s probably better off getting them hurt. This of one of those lessons 99% of ppl need to learn, that not everyone who has sex with you wants anything other than sex. Your brother may or may not have told her that’s all he wanted and she may or may not be making things up in her head about what they are or aren’t. But she needs to face reality. Sorry
Your brother is not just a jerk but a loser weirdo too
You were nice about it. Now it’s time to tell her what’s up. Don’t tell her your brother is a jerk. Just tell her he’s not interested and that she NEEDS to move on. If she asks again, say you don’t want to get in the middle of it and she should take it up with your brother.
OR
Tell your brother he caused a mess with your new roommates. It’s making things weird, and he needs to fix it by giving her closure.
Lmao @ everyone hating on the brother
Yeah…. A 32yo having a one night stand with an 18yo is not a keeper by any definition. She’ll probably just have to learn the hard way sadly.
While you can’t do anything about this situation other than set a boundary with her, you can do something about future interactions with your circle and your brother:
My brother and I have a 15 year age gap (I’m the oldie). I’m not friends with *any* of his friends, he is not friends with *any* of my friends, and we do not invite each other to friend stuff. This is how things work with two siblings that have zero concerns one is going to sleep with the other’s friends. *You*, on the other hand, *now* have to be concerned with your brother around your friends/close unavoidable acquaintances, so if there is even a mild potential for him to interact with your people, don’t invite him 🙁 you need help? Don’t call him 🙁 I know it sucks, but he ruined that.
I think you should have a blunt heart to heart with her. Say, “I’m so sorry you got involved with my brother. He’s a creep. If I’d known I would have warned you. I’m pretty certain he will never call you. That’s just the kind of guy he is. He’s freaking 32 and had no business messing with you. You have to evict him from your thoughts so the fun at college doesn’t pass you by while you wait for my stupid creepy brother to call. He isn’t going to call. I’m so sorry. Please forget about him he’s already on to the next one. I promise to never bring him up again. “
tell your brother not to shit where you eat.
Your brother is not being a good sibling to you, and he was not a good person to your dorm mate. He should care that he created an uncomfortable situation for you that’s hampering your college experience, and he should try to fix it. He also shouldn’t have slept with your 18 year old dorm mate, especially not without being VERY explicit that It was nothing more than a one-night fling. Yuck and shame on him.
Don’t invite your brother around your dorm mates anymore.
As a 22m, no disrespect but guys like your brother to me are very odd. I won’t even go out with a girl who’s 18 as there’s a 4 year age gap and we’d most likely have slim to nothing in common. Now at age 32 you definitely have nothing in common with an 18 year old other than he found her attractive. Tell her straight up he’s definitely not going to respond to her, and that your brother is just an odd guy to be going for girls 14 years younger than him. Or advise your brother to man up and handle his own business as he got himself into that situation. Like somebody else said Legal age DOESNT mean appropriate
Your brothers a fucking weirdo that is borderline predator behaviour. She’s 18 and he’s 32. She also lives with you. Definitely tell her you don’t wanna hear about it but the issue lies mostly with your POS brother.
It’s not fair for her to put you in that position. I would stay out of it. I’ve been in that position before, not with a brother but with a roommate and you do not want to get in the middle of anything. Just tell her you don’t know. Tell him to stop sleeping with 18 year old, especially if they’re not mature enough for a one night stand. He should know better.