My(30f) recent bf(40m) told me he had sex with more than 200 girls, will that be a red flag to progress a meaningful relationship?

44 comments

1. > he follows more than 1000 thirst trap accounts on his TikTok

   This is a major red flag. And makes him sound like a loser who lies about how many “conquests” he’s had.

2. He’s a liar.

3. Then reply him that u wish to hav sex with 400 men

4. Yes because if he told that that means he dose not take you seriously

5. Nobody can accurately predict if it’s a red flag for you. It will vary person to person. For me, that is a red flag. For you, it seems to be given that you seem ill-content with this news. If it’s affecting how you view your relationship and you don’t feel comfortable, it’s best to cut it off now and not waste anybody’s time.

6. Yes it’s a red flag, but like any red flag, it’s important to listen to their explanations about the situation, what they’ve learned, and how they’re trying to grow. However, actions are more important than words and judging by the fact that he currently follows so many thirst trap accounts, I think it’s safe to say he’s not worth investing any further energy into. But can’t hurt to talk to him about it as long as you are not easily manipulated.

7. The fact he slept with 200 girls is up to you. Lets say he’s been active 20 years that 8-9 women a year which is less than one a month. Honestly it sounds bad but it gets away from you over time.

   The thirst trap thing is a major red flag and disrespectful to you. I cleared out my Instagram when I went official with my girlfriend

8. no, it’s not a red flag. he had fun in his life and wants to settle down now.

9. Yea he could be laying

10. 

    ## He follows hoodville, like the true City Boy he is.

11. Ask him how many relationships he’s been in, if he’s cheated, and how long the longest one was. At the very least, he went through a man-whore phase. On the other hand, he should be experienced enough to give it to you real good. If he’s shown he can be faithful, then that’s the most important thing, but I can’t say this isn’t a red flag at all

12. As someone with a high number. Id like to think the answer is no. How would I explain this to a potential mate? Among many things, the amount of long term quality relations that I’ve had, what I have learned and how I have grown.

    I think rather than focusing on the ‘200’ number, focus on the long term relations(let’s say 9 months and more) and how his history was in those relations.

    The following of thirst trap accounts for a 40 year old is rather juvenile, and I’m in my early 30s. Not a red flag per say but definitely a yellow. The red flag would be if he’s actively sending messages or paying for their services. But I personally have never followed any thirst trap account, not my thing.

13. Can your bf coach me pls?

14. when you say discovered, who brought it up? if it was him, 100% lie. If you brought it up, while unlikely, it *could* be true, but damn moreso following 1k thirst trap accounts? I’m not on tiktok or twitter or instagram so don’t follow accounts but goddamn, 1,000 is alot of accounts to follow let alone just for porn shit basically. That’s a problem, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

    Like i’m sure a few people I get my rocks off with porn then put it away then go about my day. Sure I may find particular ones I do like and I could see some normal people even following or saving as a favorite or saving the video itself, but man *that many — a thousand* different porn stars they view and download ?! too many

    nah son

15. Following those Tik Tok accounts at 40 is a 🚩

16. He’s an idiot.

17. 40 yo male following thirst trap accounts on TikTok? What is he 15 lol. Ew.

18. Instant red flag , I’m afraid . He’s not gonna settle down , more surprising to me as that he told you his number (if it’s real)

19. For me, it would be a dealbreaker

20. He’s probably lying.

21. Huge red flag. The thirst trap following on Instagram is just cringeworthy for a man his age, and I would personally be completely turned off to hear of the 200 or so previous sexual partners. He sounds like an aging f-boy and not someone who actually wants to settle down.

22. I’m up there but not as high as that, I’m 43m didn’t get started till I was 17 and got married when I was 25 so while his numbers may bother you it doesn’t necessarily mean a red flag, but the “thirst traps” or whatever yeah I’d say it’s a red flag, combined it shows a pattern and a road you probably don’t want to go down. My advice would be to leave it alone and move on, moving forward with him may prove to be a bad decision, dude might have a sex addiction and other problems that would eventually lead to unfaithfulness on his part
    His “numbers” may not have been all from “normal” encounters might be a lot of paid sex in there, but I can’t say for certain, because I’ve never done anything like that

23. Obviously he’s in a massive sex circuit and if your not willing to get in the rotation, I think you should leave him alone

24. Mine (f47) is super high but I’m still an amazing partner and have no problem w a man who has a high one. My current guy does like me and he’s better than the guys and ex husband who had very low ones. It’s a personal decision but you may be losing out on a wonderful partner

25. If you want herpes then go ahead. I slept with over 20 and thought that was a lot. My friend is over 70 and we bust his balls and call him disgusting. 200? LOL Dude

26. If he’s good at sex and std free, then stay with em. If he sucks in the sack after 200 girls though, leave em cause that boy ain’t able to learn shit.

27. Some people just have a wild phase. 200 is a lot tho. So I’d have a serious conversation about what the goals are for the relationship especially since he still follows thirst trap accounts

28. Go ahead, be dumb

29. I actually find it weirder that he’d even have a ballpark idea at this point. Does he keep a spreadsheet or something? I’m a few years older than him and I have friends who never married and they’ve said they’re in the “40’s or 50’s…I don’t know really, I stopped counting around 2008.”

    I find it hard to believe someone would get to those numbers unless he had long stretches of his life where he compulsively tried to fuck any woman he met. Suppose he *did* meet women who fell for the schtick. He still had to put himself out there and go after the type. I don’t care how handsome or successful you claim he is, he still had to put in *some* work, unless he also has the combo multiplier of being at least low level famous too.

    Another commenter said if you break it down to around one new person a month over 20+ years it doesn’t sound quite as bad. Okay, I get that, but has he been in any relationships? If he dates someone for a year and is off the market, did that mean when he’s single again, he has to double up and sleep with a new woman every *2 weeks* now for a year to make up for lost time?

    It’s possible he had an extended wild phase and is now over it. It’s also possible he has a sex addiction (thirst trap follows are another sign). Or he’s just lying. No matter what, I guess as long as he’s STI free and treats you well, I’d call it a yellow flag for now. You probably have to talk to him to make sure his head and heart are in the right place before things get serious.

30. To have sex with that many girls I’d assume he has a sex addiction type deal and probably won’t be monogamous with you.

    As a guy I think we have a biological drive to sleep with a lot of different women. I assume he has a strong drive for that. Id be careful

31. It is a known behavior pattern for players to tell women that they are the one, to get them in to bed. Do you know any of his former hook-ups, can you talk with them?

    Consider the case that you are NOT the one in his eyes, he is just telling you this. Alternately, how would he even know in a short period of time, that you are the one, especially with so many partners? If he was sincere before, he only knows who is NOT the one.

32. I mean 200 bodies at 40… he’s a major garden tool but that’s his business. The thrist trap accounts are a red flag.

33. Sex is just sex, you can’t undo it so no point in getting worked up over that one but following 1k+ thirst trap accounts is crazy 😂

34. My boyfriend has been with almost 200 women. He’s a bit over 50. And he’s wild about me. He only wants me. And I believe him 100%

    He does not however, waste his time on a single thirst trap. And that kind of thing would make me walk away from anyone.

35. OP, I’ll be honest with you… this kind of seems like a loose loose. If he has – in fact – slept with that many people, you’ve got a world of hurt coming your way. Someone please correct me if I am wrong, but I have heard that people who have had a large number of sexual partners tend to not thrive in monogamous relationships. They tend to prefer variety and a monogamous relationship for sure does not equal variety. His following all those thirst accounts is a pretty dead giveaway that – despite choosing you, he still desires some variety.

    It seems like he’s an outside dog that got inside – he will stick around until the urge strikes him again and he will be gone.

    Bear in mind this is all depending on the accuracy of your information…just making a call based on what I’ve read here. I would run.

36. It’s the tinder world today, 200 females is a low number if he was as active as you say. Women are throwing themselves on guys and you can hire someone for it. If I tried I could hit 200 females and I am average guy at best. I care about experience with females I get to spend time with. And I like to remember them and our time together. The number is up to you to accept.

37. There are more red flags than there are countries in the UN.

38. Yes. No matter which gender.

39. Yes if he fell of the truth if he isn’t witch most likely he isn’t he just a prick

40. That’s….a lot.

41. ew

42. At the same time?

43. Why would he tell you that? That’s a red flag right there. And follows over 1000 accounts? Are you okay with that? 1000? That’s so many.. he’s spending a LOT of time doing that. He sounds like a narcissist or a sex addict or both and I highly doubt he’s faithful if you’re into monogamy.

44. 200 sexual partners is a lot. I have a couple sexual partners and I already am getting uncomfortable with my number (6)