My (F30) boyfriend (M45) is a well off man and based on many of his past that i knew, he has been always “taking care” of his ex financially and always sending them money even when he already broke up with them.
Now I agreed strongly that no one should look up into their partner’s phone or laptop without their consent. Within the past one year, I have caught him cheating on me by being in a dating sites and knowing that he is physically intimate with his employee when i was pregnant with our child (unfortunately i lost it due to miscarriage). Therefore now i have quite a major trust issue towards him. I felt really betrayed and disappointed.
One day, he fell asleep early in our bed and left his phone charged in the other side of our apartment. I was very tempted to go through his phone and i knew the password of his phone. I went through one of his social media and found out that couple months back he was texting with his ex in Korean (his ex is korean). Now, I don’t read or understand korean so I didn’t know what it means but i take a picture of it anyway since I rememmbered i have a Korean friend that can help me to translate this. Once i’m done with his phone, i texted my korean friend immediately and ask her to translate the conversation between my bf and his ex for me. What a shock that the message is actually rather normal just a simple question like “merry christmas” “how are you?” However, one of the text that my bf sent to his ex was my ex out of the blue asking her “Do you need money?”. Tbh, i’m fine with that i mean It’s his money he can do whatever he wants with it and i think it’s perfectly ok if he helped his ex if it’s really an emergency. But the thought of my bf volunterally giving financial support offer to his ex makes me very uncomfortable. It makes me sad that my bf is basically being his ex’s sugar daddy giving them free hands out money. Especially when i knew none of his ex is disabled that prevent them to be able to work.
Let me remind you, i felt very guilty for going through his phone and breaching his privacy. I promised to myself no matter what happened i will never do this again. How do i confront him regarding this without telling him that i went through his phone? Shall i just stay quiet and kept this secret to my grave?
I love this man so much more than i ever love anyone, and he is always there for me. I really don’t want to lose him over anything. Therefore, i will do anything to save our relationship.
2 comments
He’s already cheated on you at least once and at least tried to do it more, why are you even still with him? The only way to make a relationship with that much of a jerk work is to just never access his stuff no matter what he does and don’t worry about him fucking other people. If you have any sense of self worth or dignity, use it to leave and find someone who is actually loyal and worth your time.
I think you looked for a reason. The punishment of reading the texts is you now live with the truth. You say nothing.