Everyone keeps praising this book and saying how wonderful and amazing it is but it simply didn’t work for me, it did the complete opposite.
I tried to apply the tactic of being friendly and asking a lot of questions, being interested in others, but I think I just came across as needy, overly friendly desperate for friends, not being authentic and also just low social status. The conversation would be super one sided with either me asking questions about them and otherwise just silence. Does anyone feel like this advice is kind of bad, it puts you in a submissive position and people don’t want to be friends with people they look down upon, they want atleast people with atleast equal or higher social status as friends. I think I was maybe even annoying to them. I think I had more social success without ovethinking and just being myself and trying to have fun, without any of the advice from this book. Or am I missing something here?
Cheers.
3 comments
No, that stuff about looking submissive is your ego talking. Don’t take it personal if someone doesn’t respond well to your attempts at conversation. There’s a million reasons why, that don’t have anything to do with you. Think of reasons you might not feel like chatting. The person could be tired, preoccupied with something on their mind, they could be antisocial, etc. First things first, kill that ego because it’s toxic and serves you no purpose other than self harm. Secondly, realize that every day is a new day and every new face is a new person with their own microcosm that is influencing by so many other factors than “oh this guys low social status”. No one thinks like that. A lot of social success comes from the right time and right place. If you’re chatting up busy people, that’s the reception you’ll get. Try going to a place meant for conversation and friendliness. Like, a social club or something.
Oh, I hear you on this! I read this book when I was in highschool in the hope of getting over my shyness at that time. DID NOT WORK AT ALL. Didn’t win me a single friend!
I got over my shyness using my own methods (having a job in public relations helped!) and now I’m on a crusade to show people the REAL WAY to make huge improvements in this area.
Here’s an article I wrote to help get you started:
###[Do YOU Have Good Friendship Traits?](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPRForYourSocialLife/comments/13jp5gv/pick_me_do_you_have_good_friendship_traits/)
I remember reading a chapter that talked about smiling more. I tried this out at my job and got creepy attention from men. Might have been doing it wrong? I also got asked out way more, as if my friendliness somehow turned into interest or flirting. I went back to my reserved ways and like it better this way.