What is the best way to find out what someone’s sex drive is early in a relationship without also seeming you want to sleep with someone right away? I have a very high drive, and I have been in relationships that don’t match that and I find them unfulfilling. In the past I have rushed into intimacy and felt connected to the wrong people. I don’t want to do that anymore as I’m trying to make more meaningful long term connections, but since it is such an important component in a relationship for me I want to make sure I know before we get too far. So when and how would you suggest bring this into conversation?
6 comments
Well, in my opinion as i struggle with the same issue, you should do it step by step with the other person. So like today say something about it, tomorrow something else and slowly let them know about it. Don’t go rush in because, as you said, maybe it will go wrong but neither slow because you wouldn’t want to stay with someone with a low drive, trust me.
I assume at this point you’re probably having long phone/in-person conversations. Just bring it up casually during the getting-to-know each other period.
Let the other person know that you feel sexual compatibility is important in a relationship. Which it is, no doubt.
I have the exact same problem. I like sex a lot and a lot of men can’t keep up with me. I don’t like getting in a relationship if the sex is not gonna be good I also do not want to have sex immediately. I met a older man fell in love with him and the sex was mindblowing . However hr was happy with sex once a month and thought u was constantly wanting sex. That was true since in my last relationship before him I had it once or twice a day . Well he broke up with me over this compatability issue said it gave him to much pressure
You can ask how often someone would like to have sex, but most people will lie that they have high sex drive…
In my opinion, as soon as possible, within first 5 dates if not first 3… I have the same issue and it’s no point continuing to pursue if it’s not sustainable
Discuss it once you know each other and are moving towards intimacy, if you’re both comfortable with each other it shouldn’t be a problem and if it is then she probably doesn’t want sexual relations with you