Hello!
Just to clarify: I’m not from the US. Where I come from (Morocco), we live with our families until we get married. Even then, we can live with our parents and no one would bat an eye about it.
So here’s the story:
We (my family and I) have been living in the same appartement building for more than 20 years. I (29F) had never interacted with this guy (35M) until last year: He saw me up close for the first time since we moved to that building while talking to my mother about something. I didn’t pay him any attention.
A few days later while talking to my mother, she mentioned him and told me that while he was talking to her he kept his eyes on me. That’s when I started noticing him more. It seemed like all of a sudden he is there.
Eevrytime we meet on the stairs or in the parking lot, he keeps looking at me, and tries to start a conversation with me but I don’t give him the chance to. why? because he is married!
he got married (arranged marriage) last year, a few weeks after he saw me while talking to my mother. Whether it is an arranged marriage or not, it doesn’t matter. I would never approach a man who is taken because, first it’s wrong, and second I wouldn’t want it happening to me some day either.
The thing is. As everyone saw on the news, there was an earthquake in Morocco last week. our whole neighboorhood left their appartements and ran to the streets. while all of us were in the street past midnight, I got tired of standing on my feet for hours straight so I headed towards my car, when I felt a movement behind me in the dimly lit parking lot: He was following me to my car! he was trying to talk to me while his wife was standing across the street with his mother! He was carrying his baby in his arm for God’s sake!
Luckily for the both of us, my little brother came running to me, therefore the guy couldn’t come any closer. However, he kept me in his line of sight and kept hovering around me: He didn’t stand where his mother, wife and brothers were, but rather stayed closer where my mother and my brother and I stood.
he even pretended to come say hi to my mother so he could have an excuse to be close to me, but, thank God, in that moment I got a call and retreated away from my mother to talk on the phone.
Later in the same night, I noticed that we sat on the sidewalk right next to my car of all cars. He was probably waiting for me to go back to my car again so he could talk to me.
next day, my mother told me that while he was talking to her, he kept looking my way. AGAIN!
I’m starting to think that he is obsessed with me..
Also, my mother always tells me that whenever she runs into him, he would insist on carrying her bag, throwing the garbage for her, hold the door for her,… and then asks her about how i’m doing.
I don’t tell my mother about him trying to talk to me because I know I can handle the situation on my own. If need be, I would tell his mother first, and if she doesn’t stop him, I can always kick his behind if I have to!
I just would like to have your input on this situation. He never hurt me in any way aside from him trying desperately to talk to me which begs the question: why? if it’s a crush, wouldn’t he have given up by now? given that I barely acknowledge his presence?
I would like to thank you all in advance for taking the time to read all of blabber talk hhh

PS: I don’t really know how old he is, I just assumed he is in his mid 30s given that I found out recently that he was in the same class as my older brother back in middle school.

Thank you!

3 comments
  1. That’s frightening. Do you have anyone in your family who can talk to him and tell him to stay away? I’m worried for your safety.

  2. A married man creeping on his older neighbor’s daughter. This dude is bad news.

    Yeah, I’d assume that he’s obsessed with you.

    I wish I knew about your culture. In a lot of cultures, unfortunately as a single woman you’re likely to be accused of trying to somehow seduce some innocent and pure married man, if you complain too much about it. Even if all you did was said ” im not interested” a few times and generally ignored him, which he felt was somehow a personal humiliation.

    The best thing to do is to start filming with your phone them next time he tries to talk to you. Say on camera. “This is my Neighbor Abdul who is married, he keeps harassing me and keeps trying to talk to me. I don’t want to talk to you. I have no business with you. Please leave me and my mother alone.”

    Then keep repeating “I don’t want to talk to you. Please leave me alone. Please go home.”

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