Men of reddit, what insecurities do/did you deal with? How did you get over it?

37 comments

1. I used to be really self conscious about my pale skin and blue veins all over, but I like how it looks now. I just spent a lot of time looking at my body in the mirror

2. Massive insecurity I had was how frail I looked. It made me intimidated and afraid of confrontation.

   7 years of powerlifting and 5 years of Muay Thai, Wrestling, and BJJ and I am not afraid of any sort of conflict. Not that it would resort to violence, but having that safety net in the back of my mind knowing that they can only get so mad makes it easier to embrace the conflict and work out resolutions

3. >what insecurities do/did you deal with?

   My penis was massive, it made me feel really selfconscious, there was no way for me to dissimulate its size or make it less noticeable, people would stare at me all the time, sometimes i cried myself to sleep because of it.

   >How did you get over it?

   I chopped it off and sold it as Salami, so i no longer had that huge penis and i also made some money on the side, it was great.

4. I think that anyone with a romantic interest in me must have something fundamentally wrong with themselves. Haven’t found a way past it.

5. I’m ugly. Asymmetrical face. Looks like I had a stroke and half a facelift.

   Get over it? Nah. It’s *okay* to have insecurities. Normalize having insecurities. People that find out you’re insecure about some flaw and then belittle you for it shouldn’t do that. It’s absurd that we do this to each other.

   Change, compensate, accept, however you cope is another matter but don’t let others shame you for *feeling* insecure.

6. I had really bad teeth, combination of diet, genetics and my parents not letting me go to a doctor. I didn’t get out til I was 18 and they were too far gone to fix at that point, and I ended up needing dentures right before I turned 30. I used to lie and say they were implants or try to hide it from people, but after so long I just don’t care anymore. If someone says I have nice teeth I just go ‘oh theyre fake’ and don’t think about it.

7. Was bullied my whole adolescence for having red hair. So I cut it off.

8. Being too thin.

   I was a skinny kid and took a lot of flack and heard comments like I’d be really good looking if I put on weight. I ended up gaining weight naturally, and I also hit the gym. I’ve got a pretty decent in shape body today, but I still get triggered if someone calls me thin, even as a compliment.

   I associate skinny with weak.

9. I’ve been told I’m good looking, charismatic, funny, fun, trustworthy, a great friend, a great partner, intelligent, thoughtful…

   But man, I just can’t seem to accomplish anything of value. I make ok money but I’ll never be able to afford a house, I could never start a business, nobody would consider me management material, it’s like I just can’t envision a task and work on it to completion if it takes more than an afternoon.

   I have no idea how to get over it. ADD medication is probably the answer but I’m afraid of side effects and losing parts of my personality.

10. Lack of money and job status. However, I realized that I’m happy, have good work life balence, and what I do helps a lot of people. Some of my friends are in the opposite situation (prominent jobs but don’t feel like they’re making a difference). So once I learned that nobody has it all and that there are always tradeoffs, I asked myself what tradeoff I could live with.

11. For much of my life I was quite skinny (6’1, 150lbs-ish). Eventually got serious about lifting weights and eating. Now a pretty solid 190lbs and shooting to get to around 200-205lbs eventually.

12. I’m hairy as fuck, like hair everywhere. I started doing IPL (laser hair removal) where it bothered me most (neck, back, upper arms/ shoulders) . I never went to the beach or pool before I did that out of shame, now I go all the time. Luckily all the girls I’ve been with never even mentioned it so it probably wasn’t as big a deal as it was to me

13. I’m insecure about most things. I haven’t got over any of them.

14. I’m differently uvulated. They ran my family outta Mayberry, sir.

15. Weight. I’m not sure I’ve dealt with it.

16. Insecure about being overweight.

    I’ll let you know how I got over it when I do.

17. People pleasing. I’m working on it through positive affirmations and learning to say no more often. I welcome any podcast or book recommendations!

18. I have a hard time maintaining relationships.

19. That I have no inherent self worth. A friend told me they loved me last weekend and I haven’t been able to stop crying whenever I think about it. I get insanely overwhelmed whenever I catch feelings for someone and will do literally anything they ask no matter what, at my own detriment, regardless of if my feelings are reciprocated. And it doesn’t really matter to me if they are or not because I don’t feel like I’m worthy of love regardless.

    And I recognize that this is unhealthy and dangerous for me, but in the moment I physically can’t stop myself. If I can provide something for whoever I’m obsessed with, I will. Last winter I gave my only car away to a girl. And if I’m in a bad enough spot mentally/emotionally ill do it for random strangers. I’m still managing to skate by, but eventually it’s going to destroy my life and I don’t know what to do.

20. Height, weight, looks. Lost weight, so 1/3 lol

21. Reflecting on wrong decisions made.
    Time spent thinking about it is time lost.

22. Like many guys, body image. Height, dick, too little hair, too much hair, weight

    After a while its fucking exhausting. I don’t think I did “get over them”, I just compartmentalize and focus my energy on the things I can control.

23. General PTSD/anxiety. Excercise, meditation, good food and sleep helps. When that isn’t enough, I just act how I need to act to get through the day. Kind of like I’m and actor in a play or something.

24. Performance anxiety. Still dealing with it unfortunately

25. I have pectus carinatum- the cartilage between my sternum and left ribs grew a lot faster and more than the bones. As a result, I have a noticeable bump slightly off center to the left on my chest. It spans the entire length of my sternum and protrudes just about a inch or just under an inch. I’ve had it ever since I hit a growth spurt as a preteen, so about 20 years now. When I was younger, I refused to take my shirt off outside for any reason and I wouldn’t go swimming unless it was with my closest friends.

    I got over it because I just stopped worrying about it. If anyone ever said anything about it, I called them out on gossiping about a medical issue.

26. Outgrew most of them funny enough.

27. My career and income. I’m doing alright but everyday I beat myself up that I’m not more successful or making six figures. 41/M

28. I guess it’s the balding and being a bigger guy. I know it’s not as bad as I think, but I’d like it to be better. Can’t do much for the hair, tossing around the shaved head look but then I start to worry my head would look weird lol. I go through waves of working out. Last time I was skinny was high school, I’d almost think I was to skinny. But now I just want to be healthier. Hopefully gonna get the ok from the doctor to go to the gym again here soon and start again.

29. I have really low self esteem but it doesn’t help that I spent years around “friends” who were mentally/emotionally abusive (I was gaslit, called things like “retard” and “idiot”, told how ugly/unattractive I was, etc.) So I am self conscious about a lot of things. The main thing though is that even though I have a master’s degree and am close to finishing a PHD with a nice job guaranteed when I graduate, I still don’t think I’m good enough or smart enough to be where I am.

30. I was insecure about being an ugly ass troll for the first 20 or so years of my life. I eventually became insensitive to it.

31. I’m insecure about my chest. I don’t have gyno but I have puffy nipples and my bros nipples are all small 🙁

32. I think they every woman i try to interact with just finds me Antony l annoying so after I initially try, I disappear cuz I dint want to “annoy” them

33. Tall and skinny led to 40 plus years in gyms and martial arts. Not an issue any longer. Average dick, unfortunately no fix for that except skills with other body parts. Just detest being average in anything lol ..

34. I always thought I was ugly and didn’t fit other peoples agendas. Overcame that by taking care of my body and going to the gym.

    Always thought I couldn’t get into a relationship. Learned to be myself and not try hard because one day, the person that actually loves you for you will show themselves.

35. That no matter what I do or how much, it’s never enough. Being confident but still having that little voice in the back of my head telling me ultimately I’ll fail. Don’t know if I’ll ever get over it.

36. A bit of a chub.

37. Being single for most of my life. And I have not deald with it, because I have yet to find a woman who likes me that I like back. I’m not willing to settle for just anyone, so that makes it harder and more depressing as well. The feeling is either there or not, and if it’s there I’m going all in.