I’m 27M and recently my friends had a conversation with me saying I just don’t appear very confident.
I have a friend who is very good looking, very confident, and we were in a bar recently when girls absolutely swarmed him out of nowhere. I was sat next to him and kinda didn’t say anything.
Later my friend asked why I didn’t say anything to them and I said I wasn’t sure. He said that I was just as good looking as my friend and could do what he does but I don’t have the confidence he does and they can see that. I think it’s true tbh. I don’t feel confident in myself and people can tell.
I want to change this but i don’t know how. If I truly am on his level looks wise, then I want to find a gf now.
How do I appear more confident?
Tl;dr not sure how to appear more confident with women
6 comments
Take up space. Smile at women you don’t know. Try to open conversations with them.
Technically touching them to, but there’s a lot of social rules to that, so don’t try that until you’re sure you know how to read the mood.
Stop trying to trick women into thinking you’re confident and just be more confident
You’re going to have to look up youtube videos and study your friend.
Talking about the minutiae of every step would be a lot
You can’t ‘appear’ more confident but you can become more confident. See everything as just practice. Talk to women with zero expectations of anything happening. Just practice engaging with them in conversation focus on bringing out your personality, what makes you, you. Lose your fear of rejection by telling yourself you’re seeking a connection and sometimes that doesn’t happen and it’s completely fine if it doesn’t. With the right person you’ll click. Good luck!
Body language and a killer smile can take you everywhere, I took a ting classes because I so so bad at it, bordering on afraid of talking to women, it changed my entire life.
I just started treating flirting and dating as an act, staring myself, sounds weird but it worked for me and a couple of my friends.
There is no magic bullet. You can’t change your personality overnight. Guys who are good with women often began that process in childhood. You can’t just push a button and and suddenly start being confident.
That being said, there are books on the subjects of how to be confident and how to talk to women. Study them and work at their recommendations. It will eventually lead to success if you put effort into it.
The right approach to improving yourself has three parts: Prepare, Pantomime, Practice. Prepare means to study books and videos, as I said. Next, pantomime what you have learned in front of a mirror. Do it out loud, both sides of the conversation. Finally, practice on random women you come into contact with. Go to malls, museums or whatever and practice on whatever women you find there.