Are kinky and BDSM the same thing, or similar?

8 comments

1. Kinky is akin to “sexually odd” like my love of queefs — BDSM is all about submission and dominance in sexual games that usually involves physical restraint like ropes or hand to throat choking for erotic pleasure.

2. BDSM is a kind of kinky.

   But so is exhibitionism, and cuckolding, and water sports, and free play, and swinging, and phone sex, and age play, and edging, and role play, and gender reversal, and pegging, and mile high club. None of which are explicitly BDSM.

3. Kink/fetish encapsulates most activities outside of vanilla, missionary, basic oral etc. BDSM is an acronym for bondage, discipline/domination, sadism and masochism. Activities can be kinky without being BDSM, but by definition BDSM is kinky. E.g. bondage is kinky and apart of BDSM, but a foot fetish is just kinky (unless you’re using it specifically as a way to dominate your partner). There is a lot of crossover and nuance, but definitions don’t really matter as long as everyone is happy and consenting and having fun 🤗

4. Bdsm is more about being in control or giving it up. Kinks are sexual acts that are slightly different to dramatically different then the “norm”. Kinks and fetishes come in all forms. Bdsm just being one of them. You could be in to feet, praising, voyeurism or be an expeditionist. Just to name a few.

5. BDSM is definitely kink, but kink is not necessarily BDSM.

   Golden showers would be kink but not necessarily BDSM.

6. Kinky can be any type of sex interest. Bdsm is a kink, but not all kinks are bdsm. For example whipping and domination are bdsm and kinky. A role play sex interest is kinky but not bdsm.

7. “Kinky” refers to something you prefer sexually that is not particularly common. BDSM refers to a specific group of kinks.

8. BDSM is one form of kink, but there are other kinks that have nothing to do with BDSM. For instance, foot fetishes, furries, cross dressing.