So I (41f) have been “dating” a guy (m42) for about six months now. We have a great time doing just about anything that is outside of the bedroom. But he says we lack sexual chemistry. I being the less experienced of the two of us have asked him to teach me what he likes and have gone so far as watching videos and reading books to try and spice it up. He however refuses to do so and makes comments that I’m too tight and that until I get my breasts done that he just isn’t attracted to my body and has trouble keeping his erection. Even though I am not overweight I work out regularly. I am 5 foot 6 and a size 4. But he then also tells me that I am perfect and exactly what he’s looking for other than the sex situation and he doesn’t want me to go. He is now asking me if he can see other women until I get my boob job to see if that changes things. I however have been upfront about the fact that I want a committed relationship.
I am so confused on what to do? Am I just disrespecting myself for even considering this? Please any advice would be appreciated!
10 comments
> until I get my breasts done that he just isn’t attracted to my body.
Wowser! what a manipulative, disrespectful fellow
possibly he’s attacking your appearance because he has deep rooted insecurities imo (sexually based, perhaps?)
Please run and work on your self esteem and boundaries before deciding on the next relationship.
No, no, no. Do not even consider getting a boob job for him. Find someone else who loves your body as it is.
Know your worth! Dump this loser.
Yes you are disrespecting yourself for even considering this. It sucks when you have a good connection outside the bedroom but this man is saying you 1) need to undergo a MAJOR surgery to change your body to fit his desires and 2) he is going to fuck other women in the meantime while you make those arrangements, get it done, and heal from it (cuz your not popping up out of surgery with brand new titties that are cleared for him to play with on day 1).
What happens if your body changes from pregnancy? Or if you fall ill and can’t give him what he wants? He’ll be opening the relationship because his needs aren’t getting met or will just cheat on you.
This guy is showing you *exactly* who he is. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
You deserve someone who appreciates that you try and want to make your partner happy,
*lights cig
Please leave that stupid man
dump him asap.
Just let him go. It is what it is. Life moves on