I have this question because when I meet new people, it helps to strike a conversation by asking about themselves (like not super personal questions, but more like what do you like, how are you doing, etc.). (Though I’m sure it’s not always a good thing to ask somebody about themselves, depending on if they’re shy)
I met an older gentleman in the neighborhood who used to travel a lot with his wife before she died. I’m wondering if it’s appropriate to ask him what his favorite travels were, which I’m sure reminds me of his wife and life back then.
Will doing this just bring up grief or do people enjoy describing their deceased loved ones lives to honor their memory?
If it depends, is there any way to tell if it’s good or bad to ask?
I can just find something else to discuss, but I wish I can be prepared just in case a similar scenario happens again.
I don’t want people to feel like they can’t describe their memories of loved ones to others without causing others to noticeably want to avoid the subject.
Thanks 😊
4 comments
Depends how long ago the other party passed.
Grief is just love after someone has passed on.
I say ask away! It’s the kindest jesture to be interested.
I once asked an older man if he had any pets. he thanked me so much; he enjoyed talking about his pets 🙂 I did too!
depends on the depth of the relationship
Yes, it’s okay to ask about loved ones who’ve passed away. People often say it’s hurtful when others act like their loved one never existed. And it’s not like he’s forgotten that she existed and will suddenly remember it because you asked. He probably thinks about her every day and will appreciate the chance to talk about her and remember her with you.