We met in college and were in a LDR. I proposed last year after which she met my parents. She always had a nagging feeling that they didn’t like her and always emphasised it was important to her that they accept her so she but i always shrugged it off and told her not to worry. Last week my parents called and told me they had circumstantial evidences that she may have cheated on me. Knowing that they had no respect for her which was very important to her i foolishly told her what they said. Now she has left me and blocked me on everything and my family is saying its because she really did cheat and is trying to hide it from me and i really don’t know what to believe. I feel like i need some proof from her before i make a decision of cutting my family out of my life for good. Who should i believe and what should i do in this case?
TLDR: my fiancé left me cause she was called a cheater without any proof that she didn’t do it and now I’m just confused.
19 comments
It sounds like she either cheated or she is done with the family bs. Either way she is done. You can beg her to come back or move on. That’s up to you to decide.
Everyone around you is terrible.
You said you “told her what they said” about cheating, and then she ended it/went NC? Did you really just say “my family accused you of cheating on me” or did you accuse her? If the former, she overreacted, possibly out of guilt of actually cheating. But if you accused her, then yeah you weren’t being supportive.
Next time, though, keep your family in check and out of your love life.
I mean what’s the circumstantial evidence?
I’d be pissed too. Don’t know if it’s recoverable or not but I doubt it. Sounds like your parents DON”T like her. Did you always know this from the get-go? And I guess, do we know if she actually cheated or not? Does the “proof” bear it out?
Honestly let her go cuz it seems like you’ve never stuck up for her against your family knowing damn well they were hateful towards her, how can you say you love someone and want to merry them if you can’t even defend them against your family when you know damn well your family is in the wrong. Before you decide to date again grow a spine and stick up for your next partner if you really suspect cheating get a PI
You are too stupid to be in a relationship and you parents are too toxic. Stay single
At 29 your parents being involved in your relationship is embarrassing. Why don’t you try growing up. Your ex dodged a bullet
You suck as a partner and I’m glad she finally cut you loose. If you ever find another girlfriend, grow a spine and stand up to your busybody family.
what is their evidence? It is up to them to prove her guilty, it is very insulting for you to expect her to prove her innocence.
She left cause clearly mommy and daddy have come first. You finally proved to her she will never be first. Your parents really suck. Let her go to be happy with someone who puts her first.
She dodged a bullet, geez
You really have devalued her and not had her back. I hope you will be very happy with your parents.
You want her to prove a negative, that’s impossible.
“*Knowing that they had no respect for her which was very important to her I foolishly told her what they said.*”
Yeah. . . you really fubared this whole situation. You should have posted something on this sub before trying to do anything, lol.
I think no matter what the truth is (and let’s face reality, you may never really know the whole story) . . . at this point, this situation is almost 100% unrecoverable.
It’s best to just move on . . . a very tough and bitter pill to swallow . . . but this entire incident is a big wake up call from life and the world in general . . . you clearly have a lot more growing up to do . . . work on that, I mean really DO. THE. WORK.
. . . and become a more independent person with better instincts and better vetting skills before entering another serious relationship.
By “not choosing” you have already chosen. Nothing more to do but accept the reality of it.
So what was the evidence?
Damn, this woman is so lucky that she was able to get out of there before marrying you and getting stuck with your awful family. Good for her.
She made the right choice. Future in laws treat her like shit and disrespect her, her partner doesn’t have his priorities straight so that at 29, mommy and daddy are meddling in his relationship and he doesn’t stand up for her, and by not making a choice, her partner has already made his choice.
Dude, you’ve got some shit to work on before you drag anyone else into your life in a romantic capacity. You’re not ready.
Stick with reality, with what is in front of you: she left. She didn’t fight for your relationship… if she cheated or not doesn’t matter anymore… she left, she just left! If you ask me, I’d say she did… but we can’t be sure, what we can debe sure is the fact that she left… no fight, no confronting your parents … at least she wanted to leave and saw the opportunity and took it…