I (30F) have been seeing a (40M) that I’m completely in love with. I see all of the things with him in my future. He’s more sexually experienced than I am with a decade more experience but I’m a highly sexual person and he turns me on so much.
I’ve had a handful of partners in the last 1.5 years since being single and I’m not able to squirt and cum fully in the presence of any of these partners. Including my new boyfriend which I find extremely frustrating. The only time I’ve been able to fully let myself go there was when I was with my ex of 7 years. I’m able to squirt in the comfort of my own home and using a vibrator but when my man tries to get me off with that same toy, I just can’t release like I usually can. It annoys me and I feel like I put this pressure on myself to squirt for him because I know he wants to see me do it and he feels as though I’m not getting pleasure if I’m not cumming in that way. Which isn’t true (I’ve communicated this with him and he is very understanding but I still want to figure this out haha). Anyone else have this experience before? Is this a comfort level thing? HELP.
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My gf had the same issue. She would make me stop playing with her when she would get close so that she didn’t squirt. I just continued to reassure her that it’s OK and that there was nothing to he afraid of (she was beaten as a child for wetting the bed, so likely not the same block you’re having.) Eventually after a couple years of dating when I knew that she was getting close, I whispered in her ear to squirt for me and she just released. Then I called her a good girl and she’s been fine with it since.
I’m not sure if that helps since your block is likely cause by something else, and it sounds more like you’re just unable to rather than making him stop before you do.
With that being said, I guess the moral of the story is to figure out what the block is and work the counter to it into play time. For us, that was her trauma, and then getting comfortable with me and being told to do it in the heat of the moment got her over that hump. I wish I could guess at what might be causing it for you, but try different stuff and see what gets you closer to it, then keep moving in that direction.
Have you tried a g spot stimulator while he presses on your lower stomach? Usually does the job.
How does this sub allow this 🤣
Just drink alot of water 2 hrs before sex
Maybe just enjoy sex without pressuring yourself. Just let it go. Get out of your head. That’s when my orgasms are the best. Usually it helps me when there is music on without vocals. You just need to surrender. It can be difficult when something doesn’t completely feels right. I sometimes feel unsafe for no reason at all. Mood killer. And forcing it doesn’t work or help. Just enjoy having sex.
I don’t think squirting is as common as you think
I really don’t get the squirting thing. My ex did and I hated it.
Take the pressure off yourself and don’t tell a man you’re capable of squirting in the first place. Squirters are in the vast minority, it’s not as if the average man is going to be automatically expecting it.
Idk why squirting is so coveted I think it’s gross coming from another female lol
Have you considered filming it when your alone and showing it to him? That might help you reduce the pressure on yourself by showing him that it does really happen. Sometimes things take time to hit their stride in the bedroom, focus on having fun and feeling good when getting intimate and less on trying to achieve a specific feeling.
Definitely need to relax without putting so much pressure on yourself! Just enjoy yourself, lose yourself in the moment….
RELAXXXXXXX take a deep breath, light candles… light in sense, shoot have him give u a massage, I’m sure it’s SOOO much easier said than done. BUT I’ve been told women just to let go of a mental block & get into a super relaxing state of mind.
In order to “cum/squirt”; some can just get into it w/ out a issue. Others need a little help. I’m sure it’s frustrating, but hopefully u will find your rhythm.
She’s hurtin’ for a squirtin’
I think you’ve been watching too much p*rn because squirting during sexual intercourse happens like once/twice year so you shouldn’t be putting so much pressure on that
Apply pressure above the public bone and let him finger fuck you in an upward motion into your G-spot, it’s kind of a hook motion. Tell him to use his 2 middle fingers while he holds your neck. The goal is to aim for the palm of his own hand while it pushes down into your pubic bone.
Sounds like you have some performance anxiety.
It takes time to be comfortable with someone. You said you were with your ex 7 years. I’ve only squirted with one man and I didn’t even know I could do that. Best orgasm of my life and it was all fingers. Let him play with you. And he will start learning how to pleasure you. A perfect sex partner will take time and commitment. If this guy is your future, it’ll happen sometime. Don’t be discouraged by it. In fact, you could turn it into a game. Make it sexy.
As a man I think you should try to explain that it takes time to develop and you are happy with the current sex life that you have (if you actually are). He might think that it is because he is not performing well enough, but if you reassure him that everything is great it might relax both of you and you’ll eventually maybe squirt during sex or with fingers (yours or his). With my ex girlfriend it just randomly happened after 1-2 years of us being together that squirted on me while riding me. Before she had squirted just a little bit sometimes from my fingers but that was completely different and since then it happened relatively often during sex.
So I’ve seen girl squirt and dump. Like literally dump a lot of fluid during intimacy like a dump truck, honestly if a girl hasn’t done that…it’s not much to worry about here. Lol which one do you prefer.
I believe it’s a comfort level. I think you might be trying too hard to do it.
Maybe see a female therapist regarding your condition. She is there to help you (well, not physically, lol). If you can squit, that is so awesome. That has become a part of your lovemaking and you want to share it. Very loving! Wish I could find a lady that can do this. I wish you and your boyfriend all the best.
Wait people think during sex? Ive always been the guy that just goes to pound town and changes position when the time felt right or a simple demand was said.
Honestly, you should just communicate with your partner and let them know that squirting is almost like a chore for you in certain ways. Like imagine if you were stroking his dick tip consistently until he came. Might feel amazing for the moment but it would be a massive sensation which can be to much. Like you don’t need that every time! Nor would you want it.
It’s a mental block. I’m in a similar situation. I got out of a 7yr relationship a bit ago and he’s the only one that has made me squirt and it wasn’t until like 4 years into our relationship. Now that I’m seeing someone new I get very flustered and in my head about squirting or just cumming in general but it takes time. I know that I personally have to be extremely comfortable with that person for the mental block to go away. Just takes some time to either learn eachothers bodies or get rid of the mental block.
I’m exactly the same (21F) and I’ve just accepted it for what it is, I’m not gonna lie
I (F22) also struggled to finish with others for years. Its almost completely mental. I find my self having an easier time after smoking or drinking. Especially when it comes to squirting. But obviously that isnt a permanent bandaid. Do you experience anxiety in other aspects of your life?
Just wait until you really have to pee. Then when having sex let go. We all know it’s just pee.
Lucky guy. Can’t ever picture a woman I’m into writing a post like this about me.
Relax and just enjoy how good you feel with each other. I imagine the pressure you’re putting on it is the whole issue…. When you relax and just have fun whether it happens or not you’ll be in a better place, squirt or not
I see a lot of men commenting and I would completely disregard those comments. Woman to woman…It does have a lot to do with having the ability to relax during sex. If I can’t relax or I am uncomfortable I have found it difficult to squirt as well. It has very little to do with the actual sexual performance of your partner. I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it and definitely do not allow your partner to make you feel guilty. The more comfortable you become the easier it will be. Don’t stress. 💙
Why y’all fuckin
So u cum reguraly? Ive never squirted in my life. I rarely cum since 2010 when i started ssris. Usually a mental thing. Like u said, ur putting pressure on urself & not relaxing fully.
Please don’t squirt.
I had a woman do that once and the next day I bought a new mattress
Piss on your own mattress