Dull lives
My boyfriend M32 and I F29 have agreed that our lives have become dull since we began dating 1.5 years ago.
Before we met, we both had social lives, we were putting our best feet forward and enjoying everything life had to offer
Since we have been together we have created a codependency ( we are aware it’s toxic) and are struggling to get out of this pattern.
We have movedd to a new city which has exacerbated our codependenc which is causing more issues within our relationship and most importantly ourselves.
I’ve struggled with our relationship from the start. Being my first at the age of 30, I’ve struggled with the change of lifestyle, the feel of losing friends and the life that I loved.
I also battle with a triggering feeling of, if I truly love him or not (I’m starting to realise that this always tends to happen a week before my period. I convince myself I’m not in love with him) or it that my genuine feeling.
Feeling lost because I honestly have no idea what a relationship is suppose to feel like.
Tips? Should we break up because we don’t bring the best out of each other, or do we have some serious work to do!
Thank you for taking the time to respond
7 comments
Why did you both move city? Seems like a very short time in a relationship to just up sticks and become so isolated with eachother.
It sounds like you both have got lazy in your relationship.
You both should get hobbies and do activities separate from each other and meetnew people. You probably feel the way you do bc you spend too much time together.
Just bc your in a relationship it doesn’t mean you have to do everything together.
Ask yourself that if you split up will your lives be better or will it be the same but single.
Here’s a hint, a relationship shouldn’t feel like that. A relationship enhances both your lives and is engaging and reciprocal. You need to get out of your situation, no matter how hot the guy is or how great the sex is. End well, this will not.
Honestly I think you two are old enough and mature enough to grab the bull by it’s horns!
Sit down and discuss where do you see yourself going with this. Are you really going to change? Is it possible and easy? What is stopping you right now from getting such thoughts?
Don’t waste each others time if the feeling is mutual, life is short and you can both be losing out in opportunities and also hurting each other even more
The more time you waste to try and mend the worse it will get, there might just be enough to salvage up right now but seriously, have a very urgent talk
You need to break the routine. You need to make time for yourselves as individuals and as a couple. Easy, no, necessary, yes. You both need to explore hobbies and outside platonic relationships whilst at the same time having date nights and hobbies you can do together. Relationships take work and constant compromise. But get it right, even nearly right, and it’ll be worth it.
It’s only been 1.5 years…. Break up and find someone who actually brings out the best in you
Are you sure it is the realtionship and not the move? Do you have friends TO go out with?