My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for over 10 months now and it’s been going well. Recently I was diagnosed with a lump in my breast that I need to get removed surgically. I’m pretty anxious due to this.
My boyfriend has some friends that he often hangs out with. I have severe FOMO when they do and I often feel jealous of his friends because they get to be near him and hang out when I’m 12000 kilometers away. But I don’t really say anything and I don’t want to be controlling in any way. Plus I have friends here that I make plans with.
My question is – am I allowed to ask him not to hang out with them for a period of time and just be there for me during my surgery and my recovery period? I’d really love it if he gives me his full attention during this period instead of making plans with others. I don’t want to seem controlling, but this would make me feel less alone despite the distance.
5 comments
No. You do not get to control his life. He is not going to stay at home (12k kms away!!!) staring at a wall because of your insecurities.
Why does it matter if you’re long distance??
You want him to not enjoy himself because you’re lonely and not enjoying yourself?
Need to work on that.
You’re allowed to ASK but he’s more than allowed to say no because he is the only one who gets to dictate how he spends his time. It’s not like he can physically do anything for you during recovery anyhow
You can ask him to spend some time with you on calls and stuff, but you cannot ask that he not go out at all. He is not a physical caretaker in this situation so it isn’t fair to ask that of him. I know it sucks that you can’t go out as well, but what’s stopping you from calling your own friends while you recover as well?
However, I really think you should talk to someone about your possessive attitude towards your boyfriend and getting jealous of his friends to the point of wanting to ask him to not hang out with them. You understand that it’s irrational which is good, but those are some feelings you should probably work on with a professional and not Internet strangers.