What are totally valid insecurities a man could have while in a relationship?

28 comments

1. Being cheated on.

2. There are none. Avoid insecurities at all costs and even if you have them, refrain from telling your lover lest they use them against you.

3. Any. Feelings are valid for everyone about anything

4. What do you mean by valid?

5. Being taken for granted

6. There’s no court for determining which are valid

7. His girl talking about other guys especially when she mentions how they are attractive

8. This doesn’t sound like a general question but rather a specific situation.

   A hard boundary should be “my girlfriend doesn’t sleep in the same bed as another man ever”. Think that’s pretty reasonable. Therefore she isn’t your girlfriend any more.

9. Abandonment fears, especially if someone (not just men) have an insecure attachment style.

10. In relationships it doesn’t matter. if you don’t like something, you can tell the person. And if they think you’re being ridiculous, you can leave to be with someone who respects your boundaries.

11. Boundaries. They’re not just for women. If she is doing something that you’ve repeatedly told her you don’t like and she is pushing it because it’s cute or asks you why, drop her.

12. I like the “gf and her male best friend sleeping next to each other” example lol.

    That’s exactly the kind of thing some women will gaslight you into thinking it’s ok.

    The truth is if she does that she has absolutely no respect for you whatsoever and you’re a tool for putting up with it for even a second.

13. What? Anyone is entitled to have any insecurities that they want. The only possible problem i could imagine would be people who try to make it look like as if the world should bend at their disposal. But that is not about having insecurities, that is about how you handle them.

14. There are no valid insecurities.

    If it’s valid, then by definition it’s a concern or risk.

15. She uses social media frequently

16. There are no valid insecurities. I’m not saying they don’t exist, but none are valid. Insecurity at its base is you just feeling like you’re not enough. That’s never valid. We are all who we are. Accept yourself for who you are and then work to improve in those areas. Sometimes you’re not going to be as good at something as your contemporaries, but that’s ok. More than ok. The value you will get from life is in the improvement of certain areas of it.

    Dwelling on the fact you might not stack up is not acceptable. Go fix it, or don’t worry about it. ESPECIALLY in relationships. Don’t lose sight of the fact that she’s already with you by worry too much about the reasons she might not stay.

17. If she has a male best friend… thats my ex now

18. Feeling insecure is *itself* valid. Are you gonna “conceal, don’t feel” like Elsa? Well that’s just being shitty to yourself. Run *toward* the emotion, so you can deal with it. Recognize and label how you feel, what is causing this insecurity, and how it affects your behavior.

    How you behave, due to the insecurity, is the part other people get to judge. In your case – did you yell at her? Did you tell her you expect clearer boundaries? Are you willing to walk away if she doesn’t give a shit how she makes you feel, and did you communicate this clearly?

19. What if she leaves me for a bigger dick or taller guy 🙁

20. Insecurities like not being enough are normal, as are body confidence issues. Dick size is often fair game for jokes, as is height. Men who express insecurity about these things are often mocked by both women and other men. Body size is also a target. The media pushes unrealistic, ripped, attractive men. Occasionally a dad bod is sexy. I think these types of insecurities affect relationships more than people like to admit. These are valid and it should be acceptable to express them.

21. My insecurity : disloyalty, having male friends , not giving time to me or herself. Complaining attitude. Asking too much space.

22. If that was in reverse… imagine the reaction.

23. I can’t help but feel that you buried the leed here. 🤔🧐

24. Jealousy is a valid emotion to express. The behavior in response to that feeling is the “make or break” imo. You could express your insecurity in a healthy manner. Off the top of my head, Arthur from Past Lives is a great example of someone dealing with his insecurities in a mature way.

25. Posting thirst traps on IG is an advertisement and not something people who don’t want to see whats out there do.

26. If you’re someone with abandonment and trust issues because of past experiences, having to wait a certain amount of time for a text or email response can really take a beating on your mental health, blood pressure and anxiety levels. And then you get a reminder of why you prefer to keep people at an emotional distance in the first place.

27. r/oddlyspecific

28. Dude, she is full of shit. She wouldn’t be ok with you sleeping next to some chick in bed. Dump her ass.