My (25F) fiancé (26M) keeps following and liking thirst trap accounts on ig.
For reference we have been together six years and he proposed just a month ago. This topic of him liking and following thirst trap accounts has occurred a few times in our relationship, since our first year. It would happen every 1,5-2 years. I explained to him every time that I think it’s disrespectful to me that he is actively following and liking thirst trap accounts and their content (I mean full on girls in bikinis and lingerie). Everytime I have explained it to him and he says he understands and doesn’t do it anymore except it comes back like 1.5- almost 2 years. I even broke up with him 2x about it (once in 2021 and once earlier this year as he followed insane thirst trap accounts like they could almost pass as corn on tiktok ). In 2021 when I broke up with him he said he can’t believe he’s losing the ‘girl of his dreams’ over some likes. I took him back. Earlier this year it happened again but he swears he doesn’t even remember following them and it’s probably from before (which I call BS).
tl;dr Anyway, we are engaged now. Earlier I noticed on his ig he had new following and he followed 2 new thirst trap accounts on ig. I thought this time as his fiancé maybe he would take me seriously and be serious about our future but I guess I have been dumb because all this time I’ve been letting it slide anyway. I don’t know what to do – my heart jumped when I saw the page and it’s contents and just started crying. Sometimes I think are there really any men out there who don’t have the urge to see and follow explicit content like this.
4 comments
Honestly a lot of men look, but don’t act. I would just talk to him about how it’s hurtful.
The Instagram models are never going to have sex with your fiance. There’s a higher risk of him committing infidelity with a co-worker, neighbor, or ex-girlfriend then with a whole bunch of anonymous women on Instagram who are doing the social media influencing thing.
Basically he’s a customer and those IG models have no interest in doing anything more than grabbing his eyeballs for the cash.
Now I’m not going to tell you how to feel. You are entitled to feel what you feel, and to sit any boundary in your relationship with your fiance that you feel is necessary for you to feel safe, loved, and cared for. That said, asking him to stop following IG models seems like a waste of time that you could put into building a stronger relationship with your fiance. More importantly, at the end of the day, he has demonstrated consistently that he loves you and only wants to be in relationship with you.
He’s not looking at IG models because he is not satisfied with you. He is looking at IG models because he is a man and he likes eye candy, whoever that may be. But he would never date these women in real life because who he wants to spend the rest of his life with is you.
That said, you can gently tell him that he’s looking at IG models upsets you and makes you feel insecure, and that you would like him to at least Whittle down the number he looks at. This will be a negotiation. But guess what? Almost everything in marriage is a negotiation. Welcome to the life.
Ya there are a lot of guys out there that don’t even have IG 😂
You’re entitled to whatever preferences you want. But at some point you either have to leave for good if this is a dealbreaker or just accept it if it isn’t. This endless cycle is just going to make you both miserable.