Feeling Helpless: My (M43) Compliments Don’t Matter to Her (F40) , But Others’ Do

3 comments

1. If compliments from others matter more than the compliments from own spouse then there is some trouble, either detachment or disrespect.

   If detachment, I will ask with empathy.
   If disrespect, I will act very tough.

   One has to stop being too good to be considered strong.
   And it’s not misogynist, men and women both deserve equal respect and both are equally strong.

2. You said you are a big affirmation guy but these words aren’t important to her. Is she giving you the words that you need? Is she making the effort to give you what you need to feel loved?

3. I’ve felt this way about compliments from my husband and the reason was because it felt like everything he said to me and did to/for me was a strategy to try to get me to have sex with him. It felt like he was calculating the best thing to say to make me want to have sex, so it didn’t feel like a genuine compliment.