Had a male co-worker who I think has developed an obsession with me.
It’s not romantic (we’re both straight and dudes). But I’ve noticed he keeps subtly imprinting off of me (not a criticism as I think young people tend to do this when finding themselves). But what is a criticism is the fact that he has taken an unhealthy obsession into my life and keep asking me questions no socially well-adjusted person would ask.
If it isn’t that then he invites me out to night clubs constantly or to other recreational things. This normally would also not be a bad thing, but the nuance is in the fact he doesn’t seem to take a hint and has asked at least 100 times.
He now makes passive-aggressive remarks in casual conversation that become intentionally awkward like “Kind of like how you never come out with me whenever I invite you out… ”
It’s just awkward and all I can do is give a deadpan chuckle and go “Yeah…” and then change the subject.
I don’t appreciate being cornered into a positition with a co-worker where I feel I have to say plainly — I don’t like you and don’t want to hang with you outside of work. It’s mean & unnecessary.
I’ve seen people in the past suggest that if he’s anything like them then he might have Asperger’s and that I should just be direct with him.
But I refuse to come across as an asshole.
The thing that I really draw the line at though is where he will start asking inappropriate/private questions (and I will intentionally not answer them).
He has since gone around telling everyone that I must be in witness protection because I never talk about my private life with him. 🤦♂️
This, ironically enough, made me feel guilty and led to me actually answering his most recent personal question — why are you single if you don’t mind my asking?
I do mind… But you’re going to go around and gossip about me if I don’t give you something tangible.
So I answered honestly: I don’t want to get into a relationship with someone I’m not interested in.
Him: Have you tried lowering your standards?…
Dude, this isn’t a therapy session and I didn’t ask for your advice. You asked a question — I answered. Don’t make assumptions about me.
Don’t be this person please, guys. Learn from his mistakes.