Hey, folks!
So, here’s the deal. We’re both 20 and have been together since we were sophomores. Initially, I fell for her because she was cute and super nice. But now, things have changed, and I’m not sure if I’m still in love with her.
First off, I’ve realized that I value different things in a partner for my future. She deals with anxiety, has moments of depression, is a major people-pleaser, and tends to overthink stuff. It’s not like these are deal-breakers, but they do affect our relationship. I try my best to support her, but it feels like she’s not doing much to help herself.
I’ve been working on self-improvement for a few months now, while she’s struggling even to make her bed. I’m not saying she needs to keep up with me, but it’s making me wonder if we’re on the same page anymore. Also, she’s never been great at conversations, whether it’s texting, talking on the phone, or in person. I really value meaningful chats, and I rarely get that connection with her.
There are a bunch of little things I’ve noticed over time, but the big question is whether I’ve ever loved her like she loves me. I care about her a lot, but I don’t get that excitement when we talk because our convos are pretty dull. Part of me loves her, and breaking up would hurt like hell, but lately, I’m not happy in our relationship. We’ve had fun times, but I’ve often put her happiness before mine.
And then there’s that saying, “You can’t love someone until you love yourself.” She doesn’t love herself, and it’s affecting our relationship. It’s tough because I can only give advice, and trust me, I’ve given a ton.
TL;DR: Been with my SO since we were 20, but I’m not sure if I still love her. Our priorities and values have shifted, and she’s struggling with anxiety and self-worth. Conversations are dull, and I’m not feeling the connection. Need advice on what to do next.