Months ago I met a girl at a store I frequent and at first I thought she was interested in me and I became interested in her. We hung out a lot at this place to the point people thought we were dating. Suddenly when someone called it what it is, she disputed it and explained why she couldn’t be with me (cultural differences and other reasons, but I think it’s because I’m not that attractive). Shortly found out she started going on dating sites and this girl comes from a very strict conservative background so that shocked me.

Long story short, she had me sell something for her during this rejection period and a few months later I sold it. I did see her randomly and out the blue weeks ago and she said she would take cash when I wanted to Zelle/cash app her, but I forgot my debit card and she seem lackluster about it, like she didn’t care (she has a good job btw).

So I’m fighting two parts of myself. I don’t like to scam people and i keep my word, so I like to pay what I owe (we agreed to a 50/50 split). On the other hand, I feel like any communication now I’m in the friend zone and I assume she’s not interested, so I’m not trying to wake up a sleeping lion I guess, and make it seem like I’m bothering her or trying too hard when she made it clear. It’s about $100.

30 comments

  1. Just pay her. Always best to keep your affairs in order. Then you never have to worry about her again, or risk her coming for her money.

  3. Pay up and move on. You weren’t even dating, so it’s not a big deal. I get that rejection sucks, but you gotta let it go.

  4. If you agreed to pay then you should. I don’t think it’s technically owe her. You owe her doll. You don’t want to pay because she rejected you. Guys like you make us not want to date.

  5. Pay your. Do let other peoples behavior impact your values. Pay her what is hers and then move on.

  6. OP, you made an agreement with her that did not depend on your romantic interests or relationship. The ONLY right thing to do here is to pay her what you owe based on your agreement.

    Especially since she mentioned her preferred methods of payment, you really need to just go ahead and pull the cash out, and ask her when and where she would like to meet up to collect it.

  8. I mean not paying her is going to guarantee you continue to be rejected and she might even tell friends/other women you might be interested in that you stole her money when she wouldn’t go out with you…. Which is not a good look my dude.

    Also unless she rejected you more specifically after she could have just been embarrassed when put on the spot because if you hadn’t talked about it she probably didn’t know what to say and didn’t want you rejecting her asking in front of someone else…. so she just came up with external excuses to more so avoid the question. I feel like this happens all the time where the “couple” hasn’t had an official discussion and then panic when someone else brings it up…

  10. Message uer a few more times to wire/cashapp her. Normal for most people to not carry around 100+ all the time now.

    That way, at least you tried. She might be trying to keep you around as a friend or keep leading you on, or just strongly prefers cash.

    Don’t chase her over something she doesn’t seem to care about. Just do your due diligence and don’t avoid payment

  14. Just pay her and move on.

    All a man has in this world is his word, and his balls. Don’t break ‘em for nobody.

  15. Pay her and then ghost her. Being the bigger person only goes just so far..

    Strict conservative people are not in any demonstrable way better than others. In fact they tend to talk big but still do not walk the walk. Religious folks are the same. No doctrine can make bad people better. They are good by their own design and beliefs or they are sanctimonious.

    If she then asks what the problem is, you tell her straight up. You cannot be just friends.

  16. pay her, a debt is a debt and its not like your debt was contingent of dating her otherwise it would be talking to a hooker.

    that being said if i could deny having to pay debts due to awkwardness or someone shooting me down after then i would take out SOOOO many bank loans before asking the bank managers out on dates just so i can fold my arms and go well fine i am not going to pay off my debt then and be free and clear and much richer

  20. You should be paying her, with or without the background story, as long as you know where to find her. You commented somewhere that 100 dollars is not even 0.01% of your annual income. If it was me, ill just give her the full amount (not 50/50). You sound really young btw =)

    Edit: Just did the math, so you make over a million dollars annually, and you are struggling to return her share of 100 dollars? (^ ^’)

  21. Don’t pay her. If she wanted the money, she should have been your girlfriend. /s

    what kind of answer were you expecting? Wtf does owing money have to do with your relationship standing with this person? If I were you I wouldn’t stay in the friend zone, I would give her the money I owe her, say “good luck in life” and move along. But don’t be a weasel and withhold your debts because you were spurned.

  22. Just give her the money. You’re overthinking it.

    Get it done and forget about it so you can move on with your life.

    Don’t scan or keep the money. Ever.

  26. > like any communication now I’m in the friend zone and I assume she’s not interested, so I’m not trying to wake up a sleeping lion I guess, and make it seem like I’m bothering her or trying too hard when she made it clear.

    I dont understand this. Friends pay each other back.

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