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If she’s into porn, what she usually searches for. Or you can watch porn together and ask her what she’s into or interested in watching
Just ask. She is your wife.
Try https://mojoupgrade.com/. It’s pretty good for matching your kinks without giving each others secrets away.
Start the conversation by sharing some of yours.
If you are uninterested in just asking and you don’t have access to her porn viewing history.
Try playing Truth or Dare, I know this sounds childish possibly but these games are still fun as adults on occasion. Just don’t ask something you don’t want to hear the answer to. That’s one of the tricks with adult wisdom.
Good luck!
Husband would have tame conversations about our intimate life and that would usually lead to more talks. He would ask things like is there anything else I wanted to do in the bedroom or things we havnt done. That eve olee to me and him talking about our fantasies